Where Rachel Is Idle and Mum Is Exasperated

Are you content?

2012-01-21T04:15:00.002+08:00

The Girl: Are you content, being with me?

The Boy: Content? No. I am delighted.

A brief rant on academic journals

2010-03-14T19:17:00.005+08:00

I am currently swamped with dozens of difficult to read, hard to understand mass communication journals written by a bunch of undoubtedly pompous scholars.

These said scholars (of which is my misfortune to come across at this time of writing as compulsory reading) all talk in a garbled, roundabout language. They ought to be lined up and shot. What's the point of writing an article and/or journal when it puts people off by giving us all a headache and a tough time understanding?

The main purpose of such academic journals is to present, convey, and/or teach; so why make it so difficult for students to understand, when it can all be put into much simpler terms? While mass communication is indeed a broad area of study and there are many means of delivering a message, isn't the bottom line... to deliver it clearly?

In my opinion, these so-called scholars and academicians of communicative studies are definitely poor in that particular aspect. Perhaps they are so in-over-their-heads with technicalities and the fact that they "know so much more" than the laymen, that they no longer remember their main objectives. As a journalism major I am taught that Accuracy, Brevity and Clarity are the most important facets of good writing - hence, their work is disagreeing very violently with my insides.

Yours truly,
Rachel Lau Ching-mei
(Fed-up student)

this really made my day!

2009-12-07T15:41:00.007+08:00

so, I woke up this morning, brushed my teeth, made myself a cup of Earl Grey, opened my mailbox and what do I see?

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THIS! Hahaha!

Edward Norton and I, attending ComicCon 2009 together, courtesy of Nikolai and a site he found called FACEinHOLE.com =)

It's really funny cos my face is in no way proportioned to Liv Tyler's body, but what the heck. I'm standing next to Edward Norton! Who cares if it's only a photo?

Thanks Niki for such a hilariously thoughtful "early Xmas pressie"!
I love you and I miss you, and I hope that all is well in Coober Pedy... have a very Merry Christmas!

what's love?

2009-10-17T01:17:00.034+08:00

^^see title.^^

all around me, people - friends- are either getting together or breaking off with someone or another.

i meet them, and i hear stories about being blissfully in love, or stories about bitter heartache.

this, in addition to me being an insomniac (plus there being nothing good on TV at the moment but soppy love stories) got me thinking about love - and at this time of writing, i must admit that i don't understand it, at least not entirely.

i mean, you may as well replace it with the statistical formulas that i am sure i have to painstakingly relearn this semester, because both are equally alien to me.

while i know that i am capable of familial love and friendship, i have a certain amount of suspicion that a huge chunk is missing from my heart (and/or brain?) where the romance department is supposed to be.

well, at least i think it's missing, because on hindsight, i have never been in love - i've merely been infatuated.

some infatuations that i've had were stronger and had lasted longer than others, of course. but like the nature of all infatuations, they burn out soon enough.

and while i am being frank, i may as well go all the way and tell the honest truth:-

i find myself being infatuated with someone new almost every day.

once it was a handsome stranger who smiled at me from across the street as we exchanged glances.

another time it was this hot barista with the most gorgeous eyes, who wished me a nice day as his hand touched mine when he handed me my coffee, and we both made no effort to pull away.

also not forgetting that person i met on the train with whom i exchanged e-mail addreses with, as we've just shared an intelligent and humourous conversation - we continued to write each other for a week before stopping cold, because we had found something new to do.

and many more, but it could also just be that oh-so-charming actor on my TV screen.

sometimes the infatuation just lasts within that particular moment, sometimes for a minute, sometimes for the rest of the day, sometimes more.

but that's all they are - infatuations that i can forget as easily as i've forgotten what i had for lunch yesterday.

i guess i'm a "slitherer outer" like Howl Pendragon - i constantly "fall in love" with someone, but only until they fall in love with me.

also, being "committed" and "tied down" to a single someone scares me: i am too young, too ambitious, too curious about the world, and most importantly too selfish to be involved - i enjoy flirting, i need lots of space, i need plenty of alone time from people - i want a career, i want to be respected, and i want money...

lots of it, and from my own hard work, because i want to be able to take care of myself and my family independently, without having to depend on someone else.

i also want to be able to afford all the things that i want without feeling a single ounce of guilt for it.

by now, some of you will be nodding your heads in approval and thinking "atta girl!" or "my sentiments exactly!"

some of you will be shaking them and smirking in that annoying "i-know-more-than-you" manner while making a mental note to tell me the next time you see me that "no one can stop true love, it'll just hit you whenever - you've just not met the right guy... your P.O.V will change when you do."

and while there is a possibility of the latter happening (although i hope it won't be anytime soon)... call me idealistic, but true love and attraction - for me, at least - is whether you can fall in love and stay in love with a person for a long period of time.

and i can't. because like i said, they've all been infatuations.
i tend to get bored rather quickly.

"well, stop playing around then!" you say.

i know, i know. but sometimes i can't help it.
my excuse?

infatuations make you do stupid things.

plus, you never know who's right without "trying" it out first, right?
and when i say "trying", i don't mean just by me.

you see, what i've learned only recently is that love is NOT just personal. perhaps it's just a middle-class family thing, but in my world i'm constantly taught and reminded that we keep money with money, education with education, ambition with ambition, and values with values.

you fit in either by being on (or working towards) the same level, although higher is better. lower means harder work (but not impossible), but a lack thereof is simply unacceptable.

you can call it shallow, you can call it stupid - you can hurl things at it - but it won't stop it from being true.

so really, i think i started off wrong by asking what love is.

the real question should be:

"are you going to fit well into my extended family?"

Postscript: as for my own personal requirements... well, here's an excerpt from High Fidelity that says it all perfectly:

"A while back, when Dick and Barry and I agreed that what really matters is what you like, not what you are like, Barry proposed the idea of a questionnaire for prospective partners, a two- to three-page multiple-choice document that covered all the music/film/TV/book bases. It was intended a) to dispense with awkward conversation, and b) to prevent a chap from leaping into bed with someone who might, at a later date, turn out to have every Julio Iglesias record ever made. It amused us at the time, although Barry, being Barry, went one stage further: he compiled the questionnaire and presented it to some poor woman he was interested in, and she hit him with it. But there was an important and essential truth contained in the idea, and the truth was that these things matter, and it's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently, or if your favourite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party." - Rob Fleming of High Fidelity, by Nick Hornby.

On The Playlist This Month

2009-09-16T12:04:00.005+08:00

an album a day is key, and more can't possibly hurt, unless you're like me, who listens to music instead of studying =)

this month's picks are a blend of the (relatively) old with the (relatively) new:-

Amanda Palmer - Who Killed Amanda Palmer?
Arctic Monkeys - Humbug
Ataxia - Automatic Writing I
Belle & Sebastian - The Boy With The Arab Strap
Big Audio Dynamite - Planet BAD
The Blues Brothers - Briefcase Full Of Blues
The Commitments - The Commitments OST
Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
Carol King - Tapestry
Chickenfoot - Chickenfoot (yeah, check out Chad Smith's supergroup)
David Bowie - The Man Who Sold The World
Depeche Mode - Playing The Angel
Editors - The Back Room
Foo Fighters - In Your Honor
Frank Sinatra - The Reprise Studio Collection
Frank Zappa - Strictly Commercial
Fugazi - Red Medicine
Jamie Cullum - Twentysomething
John Frusciante - The Empyrean
Kasabian - West Pauper Ryder Lunatic Asylum
The Lords Of The New Church - Just Can't Get Enough
The Mars Volta - De-Loused In The Comatorium
Nick Drake - Five Leaves Left
Pixies - Surfer Rosa
Ray LaMontagne - Till The Sun Turns Black
TV On The Radio - Dear Science
U2 - Achtung Baby
The Who - Who's Next?
The Verve - Forth
Weezer - The Blue Album

my brain needs to be preserved

2009-08-18T20:34:00.005+08:00

I am going to be 21 in 12 days.

For the past couple of weeks, I am having this paranoia that I'll wake up that day a legal adult and I'll never be able to understand or even make sense of another book like Diana Wynne Jones' Fire & Hemlock ever again, should something similar come along from that point on.

I doubt that it was merely a string of coincidences that none of the older friends whom I introduced DWJ to could make head or toe of her stories' plot dénouements, whereas every other kid or teen that I had introduced her to, understood without trouble.

After each book, the latter category will find out more about the mythologies that are incorporated into her books. Meanwhile, the former complains that no explanations were given, and that they didn't even know that mythologies were involved - or who the characters were supposed to be even if they do.

I admit that I have a disdain for many adult fantasy fiction authors. How can fantasy be so narrow? And bound to so many rules? And the authors seem to find the need to anxiously explain, explain, and explain so many things thoroughly, over and over again throughout the story. To remind us of a fact a gazillion times, just in case we're too dumb, too busy, or too preoccupied with work and other responsibilities to remember.

I have many other things on my mind, but am not really in the mood to divulge.

So here's an abrupt end to my post.

somebody give him a world stupidity award

2009-06-30T20:50:00.004+08:00

i should be doing my work, but right now i really need to rant.

actually, i don't see how i can possibly resume working on my report without doing so.

there's this stupid little boy who had just provoked me so; i really don't want to be giving him the satisfaction by reacting to it - but i couldn't help feeling bothered.

right now i have the urge to chuck things at him.

for the past four to five months, he has been harassing me to go out him through, you name it: email, MSN, text, phone calls, Facebook, and Friendster (which zaman kuno caveman still uses Friendster?).

i swear to God he's border-lining stalking me. like, how desperate can a person possibly get?

yes yes, most of you who know me personally may very well ask if i actually told him to piss off, instead of my usual avoidance behaviour-type crap (and for those who don't know me too closely... my greatest downfall is that i have always felt uncomfortable rejecting people).

but as for this guy, i have told him flat-out that I WOULD NEVER DATE HIM, on numerous occasions. pretty harshly too.

but i guess that amoeba-brain can't understand basic human speech, as he has now resorted to phoning me in the middle of the night.

it is steadily getting more annoying, and it is also becoming an actual harassment (no shit!) as not only does it interrupt me when i am asleep, but i have resorted to switching off my phone during classes (as i do not have call screening and the bloody idiot will just phone and phone and phone). this has caused me to miss a few important calls.

the final straw came when i was trying to finish writing my Industrial Training report (which is long overdue) just now, and this stupid thick-skinned fellow kept interrupting my thought process by phoning me non-stop.

it was extremely distracting, and i finally became angry enough to actually pick up, and i basically shouted all the colours of the rainbow (Chinese proverb) at him.

he got angry when i asked him to stop behaving like a desperate psychopath, and in turn called me a "fucking stuck-up bitch who thinks she's all that".

then he proceeded to tell me that he's offering me "the real deal, that he's rich, smart, blah blah blah" and that i should "stop being such a commitment phobic".

that wanker! and smart my ass - do smart people insult someone they are trying to date by saying things like, and i quote, a "fucking stuck-up bitch who thinks she's all that" ?

so i said, "you're fucking pathetic. and i don't care if you're a fucking billionaire, money can't buy you style, chivalry, grace, finesse, or me."

i hung up on him before he could say anything in return, and that gave me a bit of satisfaction, but i am still fucking pissed off.

and yes, i am a commitment phobic because i am constantly disappointed to find that real men are not like those of the storybook variety.

and no wonder too, with dickwads like him in existence.

it's not like i'm looking for a fairytale Prince Charming or a Byronic hero (i hate those sort of characters, actually); but slimy, non-enchanted frogs are not acceptable either. what happened to the reluctant/anti hero-type guys?

do they not exist in real life?

and if you happen to read this, mr. dickwad, and i am sure you will, you fucking stalker - just so you know, if you call me again i will lodge a police report for harassment, and post your mobile number up on cyberspace for all to see.

don't say i didn't warn you.

Hang in there, LJP!

2009-06-26T02:11:00.002+08:00

Don't stress over them lower life-forms too much, they are not worth your while.

And whatever you do please don't kill yourself, cos i can't possibly imagine living without you XD

XOXO and love you always,
Rae.

college

2009-06-23T19:20:00.010+08:00

i've finally settled back into college after my three-month stint as an intern at The Star.

college took some getting used to again. other than getting culture shock from all the very Cina non-English speaking Chinese (sorry, can't help calling them Cina) population once more, college assignments pretty much suck balls when compared to work.

(I WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK AND CONTINUE REPORTING LEH.)

but, things aren't actually too bad when i think about it... a good education is always important, and it provides cushioning. assignments aside (literally, cos i have yet to do any preparations for any of my assignments), college life is always fun =)

for example:

today, found written on the whiteboard with permanent markers in a classroom during our tutorial for Newspaper Editing was -

in blue marker: My mother is a good cooker.
in red marker: What brand is your mother? National? Panasonic? Samsung?

haha XD

i hate people i meet at taxi stands

2009-06-02T18:38:00.006+08:00

you may remember this encounter (scroll down to scene 3).
well, today, i managed to meet another aunty who tried to cut queue (right in front of me!) at a taxi stand.

i know a lot of Malaysians don't have the etiquette to line up, but what are the odds that these stupid aunties always seem to pick me?? i seriously don't understand why i'm always so unfortunate to chance upon such horrid people. i mean, do i have the face of a pushover?

on a happier note, the amount of them who had suffered my wrath is numerous (i think they can start a help group together already) and i'm sure they'll think twice before cutting queue again.

scene: there are about a dozen people in line, all waiting for taxi at the Wangsa Maju LRT station's taxi stand, where there isn't a single taxi in sight.

*a stupid bitch cuts in front of me, pretending that she wants to pass through to the other side, then STAYS PUT*

me: (*loudly*) excuse me miss, please queue.

*stupid bitch turns around, sneers, gives me a whatchoogonnadoboutit? stare, and turns back to face the front*

me: (*in my head: GRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!!!*) HOI, lady, WE WERE ALL HERE FIRST, PLEASE GO TO THE END OF THE LINE.

other lady behind me: yalah, we were here first you know, don't be so kurang ajar like this la, never go school ah?

stupid bitch: (*shows black face while refusing eye contact*) i am veli late.

me: waah, being late gives you the goddamn right to cut queue izzit? what the hell is wrong with you?

stupid bitch: eh! you dun act crever ah! you dun have the light to curse me ah! (*shoves me on my shoulder*)

me: (*resisting the urge to pummel her to the ground with my hard-file*) i can speak to you however i please, because goddamn jahanam people like you don't deserve even an ounce of respect! and YOU have NO FUCKING RIGHT TO TOUCH ME.

other lady behind me: yalar, i can be witness you know, a lot of people here also can be witness, we report police for assault then you know!

stupid bitch: i where got touch her! who wants to touch you, you think you make of gold izzit? hah? some more wear so low cut, you scare the world dunno you got big neh-nehs izzit? i ree-pot you back for indecent explosure then you know!

*someone from the back: "oi aunty, you tak malu wan izzit? just queue up la!"*

other lady behind me: excuse me, got which part is indecent, you from what century? and that's beside the point, it has nothing to do with the fact that you shoved her! and which part of queuing up that you don't understand?

me: (*in my head: NIAMAH, this is personal nih!*) you jealous izzit, i got nice breasts and you look like a landing strip? (*gives her the good old once over*) some more stomach fat like shit, you ate your mother for breakfast ah?

stupid bitch: you stupid kurang ajar small girl! who are you to kutuk me?? at least i don't look like i'm wearing a hankerchief! you think you very pretty now izzit?

me: what do you mean, i think? of course i'm pretty lah! and you critisized me first, you stupid bitch! you so retarded that you cannot remember what you said a minute before izzit? you ugly just say you ugly lah, don't have to take it out on pretty people you know? if you were the first human being ever made ah, God will kill you and try to forget about the whole fiasco and start over because you are THAT fucking ugly!

*stupid bitch stares at me, dumbfounded and speechless, then promptly walks away*

me: good riddance!

other lady behind me: waah, girl, you very terror ah...

ps. haha, before you guys say anything - yes, i know my comeback was very vain XD

I wish I wrote this song.

2009-05-28T14:00:00.005+08:00

The Perfect Fit
by Amanda Palmer
(The Dresden Dolls)

I could make a dress,
A robe fit for a prince;
I could clothe a continent
But I can't sew a stitch.

I can paint my face,
And stand very, very still;
It's not very practical
But it still pays the bills.

I can't change my name,
But I could be your type;
I can dance and win at games
Like Backgammon and life.

I used to be the smart one,
Sharp as a tack.
Funny how that skipping years ahead
Has held me back.

I used to be the bright one,
Top in my class.
Funny what they give you when you
Just learn how to ask.

I can write a song,
But I can't sing in key;
I can play piano
But I never learned to read.

I can't trap a mouse,
but I can pet a cat;
No, I'm really serious!
I'm really very good at that.

I can't fix a car,
But I can fix a flat;
I could fix a lot of things
But I'd rather not get into that.

I used to be the bright one,
Smart as a whip.
Funny how you slip so far when
Teachers don't keep track of it.

I used to be the tight one,
The perfect fit.
Funny how those compliments can
Make you feel so full of it.

I can shuffle, cut and deal,
But I can't draw a hand;
I can't draw a lot of things -
I hope you understand.

I'm not exceptionally shy;
But I've never had a man
That I could look straight in the eye
And tell my secret plans.

I can take a vow,
And I can wear a ring;
And I can make you promises, but
They won't mean a thing.

Can't you do it for me?
I'll pay you well.
Fuck, I'll pay you anything,
If you could end this...

Can't you just fix it for me?
It's gone berserk.
Fuck, I'll give you anything, if
You can make the damn thing work!

Can't you just fix it for me?
I'll pay you well.
Fuck, I'll pay you anything
If you can end this hell!

Hello, I love you,
Will you tell me your name?
Hello, I'm good for nothing -
Will you love me just the same?

birthdays

2009-05-22T23:21:00.011+08:00

a ton of people have been pressuring me about possibly hosting a birthday bash on my 21st.

i've explained time and time again why that's not gonna happen... and so to save me from having to repeat myself, the reasons are as below:

other than immediate family, a few closer relatives, and a group of very good friends, i generally dislike having people around me. seriously, i don't understand why people find it important to share the most important days of their lives i.e. birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, christenings, etc. with a bunch of people that they otherwise won't meet on the other 364 days.
my parents are not made out of money, okay?
just how much do you need to spend in order to host a good party anyway? cos let's say we plan the party, allocate a budget, and then... say we cancel it. can we spend the said sum on... a posh present for me?
if you think i'm gonna give up haute cuisine for catered food on my 21st birthday, you are sadly mistaken.
if you think i'm gonna spend my 21st birthday hosting, you are also sadly mistaken.

some people laugh, some shake their heads, and some stare in disbelief and ask me why i still have friends... and i'd tell them that it's because at the very least you'd know that what i'm telling you is sincere, honest and unapologetic; and smart people like that. (which works for me cos my behavior eliminates the idiots as well as the touchy.)

and also because i'm damn good company if i happen to like you.

And if I were gay

2009-05-20T19:50:00.009+08:00

biscuit asked me who i'd fancy if i were a gay. to be honest, i oogle at girls quite a bit.

i even have a type.

so here's my top 10 list of girl crushes, in alphabetical order (since i cannot decide):-

01) Cate Blanchett - she's strong and versatile.

02) Helena Bonham Carter - she's my favourite actress.

03) Eva Green - "so beautiful, it's indecent."

04) Scarlett Johanssen - she comes complete with a sweet voice.

05) Angelina Jolie - which It list doesn't have her on it?

06) Evangeline Lilly - if i were to have a girlfriend, she would be it.

07) Rachel McAdams - it's pretty awesome we share the same name =)

08) Rose McGowan - i think she's the sexiest!

09) Natalie Portman - beauty with brains... Portman's my idol.

10) Olivia Wilde - so hot, you'd burst into flames just looking at her.

in fact, Olivia Wilde so hot, i think she deserves to have another photo here.

I want him.

2009-05-20T00:22:00.004+08:00

I want him so bad.

Thank You For The Venom.

2009-05-19T01:50:00.014+08:00

Author's note/Disclaimer: Am in a dark place lately, can't seem to snap out of it. Been especially antagonistic towards people, but i think i'm gonna be alright.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either a product of my warped imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales are purely coincidential.

Certain parts of this story is a little abrupt, some parts way are probably way too graphic for some people's comfort - it's still a work in progress, so feedback are welcomed. I hope to lengthen it into a novella, if the feedbacks are good.

(The title is taken from a My Chemical Romance song of the same name; the opening line "I scream in my sleep" is a tribute to Neil Gaiman's A Study In Emerald. I chose for my hero to have Messiah-complex as a dedication to Gregory House and James Wilson.)

Thank You for the Venom

“I've got to warn you - I scream in my sleep,” she told me nonchalantly as she watched me slowly walk up to her. Her gaze was cold, unforgiving, as she gave me a once-over. She had a most commanding air.

Yet to have introduced myself, her statement and tone had me all the more intrigued. I was nervous, but refused to back down that easily.

“I’m told that I snore,” I replied, grinning. I hope that the confident front that I put on was convincing. “Will that be a problem?”

That broke the ice. She seemed satisfied that I could hold my ground - and so we talked and flirted for a bit. As the night passed she warmed to me a little, so I asked her if I could kiss her. She gave me a languid shrug, but I figured that indifference is not rejection – she kissed well.

We ended up spending the night together. I genuinely liked her, and believed that she did too at the time, but on hindsight I think it was just a way for her to pass time. She refused to tell me her name, but I looked into her purse while she was in the bathroom – Raine Lee. As a detective I found it hard not to pry into other people’s business, especially if there was an air of mystery about it. I was surprised to find that she was only eighteen. For a man of nine and thirty I prided myself for being able to attract much younger women, but eighteen is an achievement, even for me.

Little did I know what I’ve gotten myself into that night. There is no doubt that I was hooked from the very start, but from the moment I watched her slowly undress I was a man mesmerized, magicked. I remember all my conquests well; except with her it was more of a euphoric blur – the intensity of the whole affair was electrifying. And as she took charge on top of me, I could tell that she was the perfect fit. She barely made a sound, and that made me anxious, but for some strange reason it also turned me on. As we climaxed she pressed a pillow against my face, cutting off almost all oxygen to my brain. It felt good – the best I’ve ever had. I drifted off to sleep.

She kept her word about the screaming. She woke me soon after as she trashed about violently in her nightmare. I watched her, fascinated; and after a few screams I snapped out of my stupor and I roused her, took her into my arms and held her tight. I assured her that everything was all right. She looked at me and gave me a cynical, borderlining maniacal laugh at my statement, but said nothing else in return. Her breathing soon got steadier and she fell asleep in my arms. And as I watched her again in her sleep – this time she was more subdued – she became my addiction. I felt that it was my duty to fix her. It may seem irrational, foolish even; but by the end of it, I was hopelessly in love.

She was gone when I woke.

After that night, I was a man obsessed. I searched relentlessly, desperate to see her again. There were times when I'd get close, but to my utmost frustration I always seem to be a step behind. Three months and a lot of probing went by before I found records of her abuse, her past. I pulled some strings with a couple of cops who owed me, but even then it took me another week to track her down.

Alas, the night we had together was the only time I saw her alive. I found her but an hour too late. Instinct - or rather, common sense - told me that something was wrong when I found water flowing steadily out from the bottom of her front door. My mind raced. I busted it open, rushed in, and as I burst into the locked bathroom my heart pounded so hard and loud, it was deafening to my ears. It stopped when I saw her – lifeless, her naked skin tinged blue; her wrists were slit repeatedly, and she was swimming in a pink pool of bathwater. I shook her again and again, but from the cold stiffness I knew right away that it was futile. She looked serene – and there was a hint of innocence about her that I’ve not seen before.

Before I reported it in I took the liberty to go through her things, in an attempt to find whatever vague detail I could get in hopes of piecing together her life. After a while I found a stack of letters in her study, all addressed to the same person, all written differently, but with more or less the same content. All were filled with hatred.

From them I learnt much more about her. I would be doing her injustice if I ever try to tell her life with my words. A particular letter struck me to be above the others, and to be devastatingly beautiful.

***

To The Animal,

Today I found the old case photos of myself. It was only when I looked at them again did I realize how terrible the whole ordeal had been.

I hate you. It has been nearly nine years now, but I still hate you. I hate you so much it hurts; deep into every nerve, every vessel and every cartilage in my bones.

I hope you die a violent death; one which involves you being cut open deliberately as you cry in agony, with your tormentor showing no mercy – like how you showed none to me – all the while taking care not to kill you just yet as he mangles your innards, playing with them, taunting you by rubbing them against your face.

I hope he’d slowly burn your face off, dwelling on the pleasure of hearing you scream until the burning flesh melts and fuses your mouth shut. Then I hope he slits your throat and fucks the wound, finally smashing your face in when he’s done and hoists you up to the ceiling with your own intestines, a sign of victory. I hope you enter Hell blind, deaf, dumb and maimed.

I hope for many things. I hope they come true.

Every day, every single day, for three years – you hit me. Sometimes you hit me for my smallest slip-ups, like leaving a used cup on the table instead of washing it, or for not realizing that I’ve accidentally dropped a sock onto the floor when I carried my clothes into the laundry room. But mostly you hit me for no reason at all.

You hit me so hard, my skin breaks and blood comes soaking through. You were careful to aim only for my back, chest, and underarms so that my cuts and bruises were well hidden, especially from Father. But you needn’t have bothered – he found out soon enough, but then he was too cowardly to do anything much about it. Perhaps he was blinded by his love for you. Perhaps he never loved me. Whatever it was - his betrayal to me made you bolder, didn't it?

That blind, stupid, ignorant prick. He was angry when he first found out, of course. But he forgave you soon enough, of course he did, with you being the manipulative bitch that you are. All you do is fake remorse and promise that you will never hit me again; and he’d continue to leave me in your charge. I knew then that it'd steadily get worse.

Other times I thought of running away, but you had me convinced that Mum didn’t want me anymore. I once ran to the little police booth around the corner, but those clowns simply sent me home - I remember you laughing at me while you stripped me naked, stood me in front of the mirror and whipped me with the buckled end of a belt, all the while yelling at me to hold up the police report higher above my head, threatening to hit me even harder if I don't. You stupid cunt – you should’ve let me go; then we wouldn’t have been stuck with each other.

Back then I couldn’t understand why you treated me so cruelly, but I do now. I grew up, I understand things better than I did before. You were paranoid, you wanted Father all to yourself, and to your children. You needed the upper-hand – you needed to feel like you have control over me, over him. Well you can have him. He is nothing but dead to me.

One time a classmate saw me bleed. The gash under my arm was so deep that blood soaked through – a garish crimson against my pristine white shirt, and I couldn’t make the bleeding stop. I tried my best to hide it, I told her that I’ve accidentally cut myself. At that time I was ashamed, you made me believe that it was my fault, that I deserved it. I know now that I shouldn’t have been ashamed, I should've told.

The school was my sanctuary. I dreaded going home, if you can call it one. I dreaded being in the house because Father was never there, but you always were; and who am I kidding – it wouldn't have made a difference even if he was present. You’ve obviously poisoned Father against me, telling him what a terror I am, how hard it was for you to keep me disciplined. Back then I remember crying a lot. I cry, almost every day. I cry when you hit me and tell me that I am nothing; that I’ll never amount to anything.

But do not once think that I was afraid of you, even though I cried. I cried simply because it hurt. I would have grabbed that belt from your hands and proceeded to hurt you back if it wasn’t for your fluke of being pregnant one time right after another. No matter how deeply I resented you, I could not bring myself to hurt an innocent being out of spite alone.

Unlike you.

It took me two years; two years before I had the courage. I finally lost it the night you tore my old storybooks to shreds. They were the only things that I could remember Mum by – all the happy times that we’ve had together before you came into the picture. In the never-ending hostility that I was in, they were my only comfort, my only escape. You knew that, and you thought that you’d break my spirit by destroying them. Well, it backfired as I’ve never felt as much fury as I did that night. You were so scared when I ran to the police station, weren’t you?

I still fantasize about how your reaction must have been like when they came to take you away. I wish that they had brought me along, but they said I needed medical attention. You were lucky when Father bailed you out. The thought of the relief that you must have felt when he did sickens me. You must’ve been a little happy too; he had obviously chosen to be on your side. That blood traitor – he will get his come-uppance one day.

I stayed in the hospital all alone. The day they stripped me naked in that cold, stark, sterile room as they took photos of my wounds for evidence is still fresh on my mind – still painful. I endured countless check-ups, all the agonizing cleaning and dressing of my wounds without a single familiar face as the police tried to locate my family. It was almost too much to bear. God bless the day Aunt turned up, with tears streaming down her face. But even in my happiness of seeing her, I was still obsessing over you.

Mum found out, flew home and took me away. She cried when she saw what you did. Oh, how she cursed you. Mum wouldn’t have left me after the divorce if it weren’t for the fact that she didn’t have the money at the time, and also that I was closer to Grandmother, who took care of me. But Grandmother died, didn’t she? I was too young to understand it then, but I know now that it was you. She was well, healthy and happy; until you came along – you were the reason Grandmother’s heart broke. She lost the will to live. No one loved me more than Grandmother, and you killed her.

Murderer.

But the way you looked in court were almost worth all the abuse. Call me twisted, call me what you will; but nothing pleased me more at the time than the sheer terror on your face. As much as I’ve hoped, I couldn’t deny you your life; but I’ve got your freedom taken away. And what is life without freedom?

You should really thank the Lord that you were still pregnant at the time. I’m sure the sentencing would have been worse otherwise. But tell me, was it fun giving birth in prison?

Must have been the best damn experience of your life.

Thank you for the venom,

Raine.

P.S. When was the last time Father visited you?

***

I wonder if she had ever posted one. I hope for her sake that she did.

I didn’t know nor could I understand why Raine chose that specific time to end her life, until her father was found four days later, when the apartment adjacent to his complained about the terrible stench. The police found him on his bed, flat on his back – a perfect sleeping position – like how you would arrange the deceased in a wake. His face and body were bloated beyond recognition; caused by putrefaction. On closer look, you could see that he had his eyes gouged out, with ears, tongue and manhood severed. The police said that there was no evidence of struggle. In his hand was a piece of neatly-folded ivory white paper, and in it was a poem, written in a familiar hand, as delicate as a gentle breeze:

Where were you when I cried out loud
As the pain came searing through?
You were never there when I needed you.

I wasn’t proud for I begged for help,
You assured me you’ll be true
But you were never there when I needed you.

In my despair the monster grew
It ripped and tore its own way through;
For you were never there when I needed you.

Now the monster dictates my every move
It tells me that the fault is you -
How you were never there when I needed you.

Now where you were I care no more,
But know that all will have to pay their dues.
Know this - you were never there when I needed you!

So as you lay your head at night
Be sure to have locked up very tight
And remember, remember - remember you
Were never there when I needed you.

You were not there.

THE END.

Copyright (C) 2008 by Rachel Lau.
All rights reserved. This story is written as I am incapable of commit actual murder, nor do I think that it's worth spending time in prison for, so I've resorted to killing people in my mind.

this is a very long-winded post about anal retentiveness and laundry.

2009-04-24T00:06:00.012+08:00

see title. you have been warned.

anyway. close friends and family, had, at one point or another, gave up on whatever it was that they were trying to help me on because i am an analretentivebitchofafusspot who like things done (or be in) a certain way (MY way.).

normally, what happens is that they will shake their heads, sigh heavily, and comment exasperatedly that i am "more obsessive compulsive than Adrian Monk".

my usual response would be to give them the "oh well"-type shrug, maybe a bashful grin, maybe even an apologetic mumble of a "sorry." if i feel that i was being exceptionally over-bearing.

but really, i never thought much of it, until today.

today, i exceeded my own expectations. i am so anal retentive/obsessive compulsive, i succeeded in annoying even myself.

i am currently living most days of the week with my Aunty June and family, as i am doing my internship at The Star (things are great by the way, i am thoroughly enjoying my time there) and it is more convenient for me to go to work from here.

Aunty Myrna, the housekeeper, comes twice a week to clean-up and do the laundry, including the ironing.

now, i do my own laundry back home in Bukit Antarabangsa, which means i know where everything is (even though it doesn't seem like it since it looks a real mess).

but here, Aunty Myrna does them for me, and though i am very glad that she does (since i have no freaking time to even attempt to do it on my own), things get a bit crazy in the morning, especially when i am late for work and i have NO FREAKING CLUE WHERE ANYTHING IS.

but i bear with it. it's a small price to pay for clean laundry. but then some time last week, when i went back home during my off days, she rearranged my clothes so that they were colour-coded.

when i saw the new arrangement today, i freaked out. i freaked out even more when i couldn't find this brown turtleneck i wanted to wear even though i looked in what was supposed to be the brown pile (turns out she hung it up in an adjacent cupboard).

i swear it felt like i'd get a panic attack - it felt as if i've lost all semblance of control in my life - but i was so late i had to let it go, at least until i return home from work later that day.

the entire day, i couldn't concentrate. the press conference i attended hardly made sense since the only thing the minister seemed to be telling me is "YOUR CLOSET IS FUCKED UP."
while i was writing my news stories, my thoughts were along the line of, "The... my wardrobe! ministry has pleaded clemency to commute... my currently colour-coded clothes back into their original arrangement ...his death sentence to life imprisonment."

it seemed like an eternity before it was finally time for me to call it a day - and it felt like another lifetime before i got home (the traffic was terrible) - i literally ran into the building when i finally reached.

the first thing i did when i walked in the door was restore my clothes back into their original positions.

ps. btw, i am once again single, but mostly unavailable. no one would want to date me after reading this post anyway.

truths.

2009-02-03T20:11:00.004+08:00

YOU:-
001. real name → Rachel Lau Ching-mei.
002. nickname(s) → Rae, Rae-rae, Rach, Rachie, Mei-mei, Raichu, Crazy Nut, Woman (exclusive to Jing Pei only).
003. zodiac sign → Virgo.
004. male or female? → female.
005. kindergarten → Kuen Cheng Kuala Lumpur.
006. elementary/middle school → Methodist Girls School Kuala Lumpur.
007. high school → Ampang Road Girls School.
008. college/university → Tunku Abdul Rahman College (Main Campus).
009. hair color → dark brown.
010. long or short? → long.
011. loud or quiet? → it depends on the company, and the place.
012. sweats or jeans? → jeans, preferably skinny; sweats are ugly.
013. phone or camera? → i have a nifty phone already, i want a DSLR XD
014. health freak? → nope, too lazy to exercise and i love food too much to stop eating excessively.
015. drink or smoke? → i drink, but do not smoke.
016. do you have a crush on someone? → celebrities yes, real people no.
017. eat or drink? → both, of course. can't do without one or the other.
018. piercings? → i have five at the moment. used to have six - had a pierced labret.
019. tattoos? → not yet but probably gonna get an asymmetrical symbol of chaos soon. then again, probably not. i'm Christian, you see.

FIRSTS:-
020. first piercing → 1999
021. first best friend → Laura Mei-ding Ajong
022. first award → Johan Pertandingan Tajam Akal Tahun 4 Daerah Gombak 1998
023. first crush → Stephen Chow, when i was five or six
024. first pet → don't remember
025. first big vacation → Bali, i think.
026. first big birthday → my thirteenth (or is it fourteenth?) birthday, and NEVER AGAIN. worst. birthday. ever. fucking traumatic.

CURRENTLY:-
027. eating → chocolates. 85% cocoa~!
028. drinking → hot green tea
029. i'm about to → go play with Chester
030. listening to → Joy Division
031. plans for today → watch Grey's Anatomy then go to sleep
032. waiting for → Grey's Anatomy repeat to come on

YOUR FUTURE:-
033. want kids? → not sure. but if i do, the limit is two.
034. want to get married? → not really.
035. career(s) in mind → music journalist, copyrighter

WHICH DO YOU PREFER:-
036. lips or eyes? → eyes.
037. shorter or taller? → definitely taller.
038. romantic or spontaneous → erm, neither. preferably quirkily romantic and laid-back.
039. nice stomach or nice arms → neither matters. can i say nice hair? XD
040. sensitive or loud → neither. must have a good balance.
041. hook-up or relationship → depends on the person.
042. trouble-maker or hesitant → trouble-maker with a clear notion of where to draw the line, heh.

HAVE YOU EVER:
043. lost glasses/contacts → yes, on numerous occasions.
044. ran away from home → yes, from my evil stepmother (literally).
045. held a gun/knife for self defense → no, thank God, and i hope that i'll never have to.
046. killed somebody → nope just mosquitoes, butterflies, bugs and stuff.
047. broken someone's heart → lol. repeatedly. and sometimes not my fault.
048. been arrested → nope, and i don't intend to be, ever.
049. cried when someone died → yes, at my paternal grandma's funeral. i loved her. still do.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
050. yourself → always.
051. miracles → yes. although i hope nothing will happen that calls for one.
052. love at first sight → no, only lust.
053. heaven → i believe in God, and in doing good. i don't know what happens after, but that doesn't bother me, because my conscience is clear.
054. Santa Claus → no.
055. sex on the first date → nope.
056. kiss on the first date → maybe =)

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
057. is there one person you want to be with right now → yes, but the age gap is big, and he's kinda hot & cold.
058. are you seriously happy with where you are in life → i guess i'm pretty comfortable with where i am right now, but i think i can do better.
059. do you believe in God → yes, i already said that.
060. Post as 100 truths and tag 20 people → i don't want to.

sex on drums

2009-01-27T01:21:00.013+08:00

anyone and everyone who knows me, will also know by default that i love Linkin Park.

Rachel + LP fangirl behaviour goes hand-in-hand.

and i guess all of you would also be aware that i've always had the hots for Rob Bourdon; though my overall favourite is undoubtedly, Chester Bennington.

well, i just saw Linkin Park's latest DVD release - Road to Revolution: Live at Milton Keynes.

as all LP performances go, this one was rocking - and i mean rocking as in rockin' the hell out more than what most other bands can only dream of; but ultimately i've got only one thing on my mind and only one thing to say:

Rob Bourdon + new shaggy hair + vigorous drumming + lots of sweat = me going: OMG!!! *ORGASMS, pwooooarrrrr!!!*

no offense to his talents, for he is very talented.

but for now i just want to rape him.

left to right: Brad Delson (lead guitar), Rob Bourdon (drums and percussion), Mike Shinoda (emcee, vocals, rhythm guitar, keyboards), Chester Bennington (vocals, frontman, whore =P)

missing from pic: Phoenix (bass), Mr. Hahn (turntables, samples, programming, director)

i don't do new year's resolutions

2009-01-05T20:25:00.002+08:00

so stop asking.

anyway. i look around, and i see that most resolutions are on what you guys think you should be doing.

"i-need-to-lose-weight-recycle-stop-smoking-drink-less-save-the-dolphins-promote-world-peace-etc."

what a load of rubbish.

i like to do what i want - so up yours, new year's resolutions!

plus, if you have a worthy enough resolution, then any other day will do just as well, it shouldn't have to be tied to the new year.

brain degeneration

2008-12-14T13:36:00.004+08:00

today i read some of my older blog posts and then a few of my newer ones.

is it possible to get more stupider by age?

tagged again

2008-12-13T12:01:00.003+08:00

instructions:

1) grab the book closest to you.

2) open to page 123. go to the 4th sentence.

3) post the text of the next 5 sentences on your blog.

4) name the book and author.

5) tag 6 people (optional).

"...She had already decided it was best to leave everything to Masako. It never crossed her mind though, that this was the same attitude she'd adopted years earlier when she had first fallen in love with Kenji.

Masako had spread a second plastic tarp on the lid covering the bath tub, and on it she piled the forty-three bags. The lid had warped under the weight - which was approximately that of a grown man.

'Even without the blood, it's still pretty heavy,' she said, half to herself..."

- Out, by Natsuo Kirino, translated from the Japanese by Stephen Snyder.

and i choose not to tag.

(unless you want to do it, in which case - tag, you're it.)

this is why i prefer to appear offline

2008-11-21T00:32:00.002+08:00

the human mind is a very complex thing

2008-11-09T19:32:00.008+08:00

i have not written my feature story.

the first draft is due on wednesday, sigh.

i am procrastinating because i need it to be perfect and i am afraid that it won't be.

and i know that this is silly because obviously by procrastinating i know that i'll end up with nothing at all, let alone perfection; but i guess that it just makes sense to me on some weird plane of the Rachel consciousness.

this is how my brain works during assignments:-

for the first 80% of the time, which is throughout the whole week before the deadline, i will be procrastinating (by blogging (like now), watching tv, reading, listening to music, playing games, sleeping, etc. half-heartedly) while stressing about my assignment without actually doing it.

then for 15% of the time, which is the few days before the deadline, i will be doing the assignment half-heartedly and swearing at: my lack of ideas, my lack of creativity, my sudden lapse of memory as to the house style, grammar and punctuation, my writer's block, the itch on my nose, my rumbly tummy, the sound from the TV, the phone ringing, the dogs barking, people talking to me, the mosquitoes buzzing, etc. etc. and end up not getting anything conducive or constructive done.

lastly, 5% of the time, which is at the very last minute, i will then suddenly be capable of coming up with fantastic ideas, words, sentences, etc. beyond my known ability and i before i know it i would be sailing along beautifully. i am sorry if this sounds like a big brag but seriously i surprise myself all the time, haha.

actually, this is the main reason why i procrastinate on most things.

the stupid thing now is that even though i know this i just can't get myself to skip the first 95%.

i am such a worrywart, sigh.

and sometimes i can't do this because tutors want to see "progression". i know that they mean well and are just trying to help by pushing us a little, so that students aren't stuck handing in crappy last minute work. but the thing is, all my work that aren't done at the last minute are CRAPPY, which means that i would have to redo it again later.

so they are actually making me do double work. wtf.

anyway.

i want to go and watch my tv half-heartedly now.

so yeah, to conclude, most of the things i don't do yet, is because i want them to be perfect.

other things, i just don't do because i am not fucking interested, haha.

ridiculous!

2008-11-06T01:15:00.005+08:00

i've been trying to find Pop Shuvit's Amp & Dangerous album for a long long loooong time now, and i've kinda given up cos basically you can't find it anywhere in Malaysia as it's only released in Japan.

i'm bringing this up because i am currently listening to some of our very fine, homegrown, local bands while i'm trying to finish this stupid Moral and Ethics assignment that is due tomorrow, and it hit me just how RIDICULOUS it is that i can't even find a LOCAL band's album in this country.

so let alone artists and bands from overseas...

bolehland, indeed.

sigh. just a short rant... and back to work i go.

good things come in threes - companion piece

2008-11-03T19:40:00.004+08:00

well, the flu took a turn for the worst and i am home sick; and extremely drowsy from medication. but at least i get to skip college for a day, haha.

Jaiden asks, "why is the meme all physical when it comes to the opposite sex? what about traits and vices? and why are the rest all so one-sided wan?"

how would i know? it wasn't created by me XD

but here are some add-ons:

three nicknames you hated:
- rae-rae (unless it's jing pei or laura)
- raichu (unless it's jing pei)
- rachie (unless it's my mum)

three traits you like about yourself:
- i try to take interest in almost everything (i want to know e-ve-ry-thing.)
- i don't have to study much to excel
- i think for myself, i have my own opinions and am not easily influenced

three vices you don't like about yourself:
- my defense mechanism is on auto-pilot
- i am a big procrastinator
- i am terrible at keeping in touch with people (including answering phone calls)

three things that motivate you to excel:
- transcendency
- interest/love for the art
- money

three things in your life you wish never existed:
- deadlines
- alarm clocks
- traffic jams

SIX bands/artists that you can't stand*:
- Akon
- Celine Dion
- Destiny's Child
- Jessica Simpson
- Kenny G
- Shania Twain

(*novelty acts like Aqua, The Cheeky Girls, Crazy Frog, Las Ketchup, Los Del Rio, The Venga Boys, etc. are not on the list because they are beyond horrendous and are not worthy to be called bands and/or artists; but defacers of music.)

SIX songs that make your ears BLEED**/***:
- My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion
- She Bangs - Ricky Martin
- Under The Bridge (RHCP Cover) - All Saints
- We Built This City (On Rock 'n Roll) - Starship
- 5, 6, 7, 8 - Steps
- Waiting For Tonight - Jennifer Lopez

(** all songs by the defacers of music (from clause *) is not listed here because it goes without saying that they suck ass.
*** i can't stand all the bands/artists listed above too.)

three things you do not want in a relationship:
- indifference
- insecurity
- drama

three traits that are required in your significant other:
- intelligence
- level-headedness
- faithfulness, fidelity

three vices that are turn-offs:
- controlling behaviour, domination
- neediness, dependency
- jealousy

three things you wish you don't have to do right now:
- assignments
- deal with my stupid flu
- go to college tomorrow

three careers options that you pray you will never resort to:
- prostitution
- garbage collection
- accountancy
(in this order)

SIX places you do not want to visit ever:
- Afghanistan
- Democratic Republic of Congo
- Iraq
- Sudan
- Somalia
- Sierra Leone

three things you hope will never happen/have to do in this lifetime:
- endure the pain of losing someone i love again.
- being abused, again.
- losing hope.

and i tag the same people i tagged in the previous post.

good things come in threes

2008-10-30T21:15:00.007+08:00

tagged by mr. remy adrian =)

three names you go by:
- rachel
- rae
- mei-mei

three screen names you have had:
- akira-rae
- phantasmagoric
- rockgoddess (haha)

three physical things you like about yourself:
- my long legs (have you seen my succulent thighs? =P)
- my cute butt XD
- my long, luscious, silky hair

three physical things you don't like about yourself:
- my sepet eyes
- the sudden tendency of me getting a random zit particularly in that little space between my eyebrows (i used to have perfect skin!)
- my 'lil doughnut ='(

three parts of your heritage:
- chinese
- peranakan (baba nyonya)
- thai

three things that scare you:
- failure
- ignorance
- fear (my greatest fear is that i'll be afraid that i'll be afraid to do something thus i hold myself back, becoming ignorant and hence a failure. which is why i always try to test my boundaries. make sense?)

three of your everyday essentials:
- my mum
- music
- sleep

three things you are wearing now:
- oversized ZERO t-shirt
- undies
- short shorts

SIX (i am sorry, i can't choose only three) of your favourite bands:
- Red Hot Chili Peppers
- The Smashing Pumpkins
- Linkin Park
- Radiohead
- Muse
- Incubus

three of your favourite songs (right now):
- X.Y.U (Live at GM Place August 1, 1997) by The Smashing Pumpkins
- 浮誇 by Eason Chan (haha, i just discovered this, cos i can't read or write Chinese)
- (i can't, i can't, i can't play favourites cos all the songs by my favourite bands are simply awesome.)

three things you want in a relationship:
- mutual love
- mutual trust
- mutual respect

three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
- his height (must be tall)
- his shoulders (broad with good posture)
- his hairstyle (although this is not a must, i prefer men with super short buzz cuts; or long-ish shaggy hair.)

three of your hobbies:
- listening to music (mostly rock and alternative)
- watching almost every single tv series available (esp. house, life, nip/tuck, supernatural, heroes, without a trace, criminal minds, bones, lost, CSI.)
- reading books (mostly transgressional fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, humor & satires)

three things you wanna do really badly right now:
- pig out on some super dark chocolate
- organize my Smashing Pumpkins live bootlegs and have them on CDs
- go back to bed

three careers you're considering/considered before:
- a villian/X-Men (more specifically i wanted to be Emma Frost cos she's hot, super sexy and ruthless; she's a genius, she can control minds, she is capable of rivalling all other X-Men, plus her costume has been awesome since day one)
- Lieutenant Commander in the Navy (this is back in primary school when i saw Demi Moore in GI Jane)
- journalist and/or copy-writer by day, writer by night (since secondary 1 till now)

three places you want to go on vacation:
- New York
- Paris
- London

three things you want to do before you die:
- win a Pulitzer Prize (either for journalistic excellence or literary achievement)
- travel the world attending the biggest rock concerts/music festivals
- tell someone my life story (which will be interesting), sparing no details

three (groups of) people that you would like to see take this quiz now:
- the usual suspects =)
- my family
- those who want to kill time

pants on fire

2008-10-18T18:33:00.024+08:00

there was this loser who tried to talk to me on the lrt yesterday. based on the KFC ads pasted everywhere i think it was the same train i took when i bumped into that ditzy ex-schoolmate, an encounter i blogged about a while ago. the train is jinxed i tell you!

throughout the ride he kept glancing over at me, trying to catch my eye. it was extremely annoying. i thought i made myself clear that i've no intention of speaking to him when i blocked him from view with my book; but then he obviously didn't get the hint because he made this sorry attempt to talk to me. i've read a lot of terrible opening lines but i swear that his was the worst one i've heard.

loser: (*flashes Johnny Bravo-like grin*) hey girl, you're too pretty to be the reading type. what is it about, shopping? haha.

me: (*in my head: "bloody hell, are you implying that i look like a bimbo? look at the cover, does it look like some chick-lit shit? you fucktard."*) excuse me? i don't read about shopping.

loser: (*unfailingly oblivious of his insult*) oh? then what is it about?

me: (*ignores loser and deliberately turns page*)

loser: (*still not backing down*) aww, c'mon.

me: (*attempting to scare him away with a cold stare and a mouthful of words*) it's about a particular Air Corps squadron in the midst of World War II trying to cope with the absurdity, inefficacity and injustice of the bureaucracy and the inevitability of death.

loser: (*blinks stupidly*) oh. erm. yeah, cool. er. i like to watch movies and read about war and shit too, haha. actually that's my favourite type of, erm, you know. i've even got model fighter jets hanging from my room ceiling, haha.

me: (*raises eyebrow at loser*) uh huh, right. (*proceed with great show of sticking head further into book until it's really quite impossible to read - too dark. what's in my head: "the word you were looking for is 'genre'. dammit please go away, you're impossible to ward off, how thick are you? and riiight, you also like 'war and shit', how convenient."*)

loser: (*refuses to falter*) no, seriously. sometimes i dream that i'm a fighter pilot or something. that'll be really cool.

me: (*shuts book with a loud thump*) and if you were one, i'd make it my point in life to flak your ass.

loser: (*looks puzzled*) flak? what's that?

me: (*in my head: "you see! fucking liar. said you're into "war and shit" but don't even know what flak is, bloody fucking idiot."*) that's anti-aircraft artillery.

loser: .....

haiyo. see what i mean about him being a loser? i was being an outright Bitch and still he wouldn't back down, how desperate is he?

was feeling very boh liao today...

2008-10-08T20:32:00.004+08:00

... so i updated my Laminated List 2008 XD

it is now new, revamped and reordered with the addition of 5 very hot men to oogle at.

Dig Out Your Soul

2008-10-06T11:47:00.002+08:00

Oasis' seventh studio album will be released worldwide today~!

oh yay i can't wait. i've been having past Oasis albums on a loop for about three weeks now to commemorate this lest i am stupid enough to forget; i think it drove my dad a little crazy. he was on leave for only about 5 days for the Raya hols and already he was like, "again??"

i don't know how the album sounds like yet, will be buying it only tomorrow (hopefully it'll already be in stores cos Malaysia is a bit lembab with new releases) but if it's anything like its first single, The Shock of the Lightning, then it's bound to be awesome.

then again, of course it's gonna be great, when is Oasis ever not?

Noel Gallagher confirmed that Dig Out Your Soul will bring us all back to the band's rock 'n roll roots ala third album Be Here Now but without all the excess - it's going to be a British, retro, sixties sounding album.

so i take that he means that it's going to be anthemic and highly melodic without being too bloated XD

here's the official tracklisting:

1. Bag It Up
2. The Turning
3. Waiting for the Rapture
4. The Shock of the Lightning
5. I’m Outta Time
6. (Get Off Your) High Horse Lady
7. Falling Down
8. To Be Where There’s Life
9. Ain’t Got Nothin’
10. The Nature of Reality
11. Soldier On

the AllMusic guide gave the album 4.5/5 stars, the reviewer wrote that it's the band's strongest release since (What's the Story) Morning Glory? (does that mean that it surpassed Don't Believe the Truth?); read it here.

narcoleptic

2008-09-28T16:34:00.018+08:00

there years ago, this happened to me:-

close encounter of a freaky kind

obviously, being young and foolish then, it upsetted me greatly.

i brought this "freaky encounter" up, because what happened that one time three years ago, has been happening pretty much repetitively to me throughout these two weeks.

being three years older, shrewder, and no longer a silly teenager, i figured that everything has a scientific explanation. so i began searching around for anything that'll match these symptoms, and it turns out that i was experiencing sleep paralysis.

from that article, i derive that sleep paralysis in itself is pretty harmless - but that doesn't stop it from scaring the shit out of me when it happens. it is so unnerving, it kinda killed the joy of sleeping for me. luckily, i do not get frightening hallucinations to go with it, like some people do.

but what worries me more now, is that i may be narcoleptic - sleep paralysis is only one of the many narcolepsy symptoms that i fulfill.

for one, i find that i can't sleep well at night - i often find myself wide awake even if i am mentally exhausted - sleepiness and deep sleep only come in the day (symptoms 1, 2, 3 & 4 - check, check, check & check). also, i fall very quickly into deep sleep during the day (symptom 5 - check). i tend to wake up suddenly for no apparent reason and become extremely disoriented, eg. thinking that i've slept past my alarm for 6 am at 6 pm (symptom 6 - check). i suffer from sleep paralysis (symptom 7 - JACKPOT).

furthermore: i start dreaming just about the very second i fall asleep (sympton 8 - check) and i have very vivid dreams, and can remember them in great detail (symptom 9 - check). i have prided myself for being able to control my dreams - i have blogged about this in 6 weird things about me.

the article does say that sleep paralysis could be caused by severe lack of sleep - but i don't think so cos i sleep for 8 - 10 hours a day (from about 3 am - 1 pm). it's more likely that i'm a hypersomniac than an insomniac.

since this is a self-diagnosis, i cannot be sure - but if it is true and i am indeed narcoleptic, then it sure as hell figures - what a great addition to the already fucked-up portmanteau of things that make my life hell, right?

PS. obviously i am not a hypochondriac - i don't do constant self-examinations, jump to crazy conclusions, etc. - and i certainly DO NOT HAVE HYSTERIA cos i knew nothing about being narcoleptic (save that it is a sleep disorder and a Placebo song) or about sleep paralysis before this for me to "develop" them.

so don't give me comments like, "aiyoh you think too much la dear XD" or "you are being paranoid". if you do, keep it to yourself, or i'll make it my point in life to kill you.

I am such a loser

2008-09-26T21:15:00.002+08:00

it's Friday night, my friends are out clubbing (i can't stand clubs, the atrocious music makes my head hurt), my parents are out on a date (dinner at a posh place then probably on to a happening bar somewhere) while i'm home alone with only my two dogs for company; eating junk food while watching The Patriot on HBO again for the umpteenth time.

i've watched this movie to death - i swear i can recite you the entire script.

but guess what? even though i have lost count the number of times of which i've seen it, the bits where Benjamin Martin's (Mel Gibson) daughter Susan finally spoke and begged him not to leave and where Gabriel Martin (Heath Ledger) died made me cry. again.

and i still laugh like an idiot when that fool Lord Cornwallis was bamboozled into letting Benjamin's men off scott-free. and when that asshole Tavington was finally killed in the last battle? man, it still gives me an elated sense of pride, joy and well-being.

i am the most pathetic person i know.

ps. i just realized that i am so pathetic i actually used the word "bamboozled" in a sentence. somebody shoot me.

Embarrassing Guilty Pleasures

2008-09-24T02:25:00.011+08:00

this is another music meme, i have no life XD

i'm supposed to list the Top 5 Most Embarrassing Songs/Artists on my iTunes.

hello, how to do? my taste in music is impeccable.

haha, not really.

1) Limp Bizkit and other nu-metal offerings of the early 2000's
- yup, it really shows that i came of age during the nu-metal era, doesn't it? i think i own almost every single nu-metal album that ever existed circa 2000 - 2003. but Limp Bizkit is by far the most embarrassing, kinda almost like a novelty act by now. as i am typing this i'm listening to My Way, for the sake of reminiscence. i only have one thing to say to myself, which is "what the hell was i thinking??"

but i guess i wasn't. i was just very, very angry. i still like Break Stuff and Hot Dog though.

(and i love Linkin Park. not that they should be compared with Limp Bizkit, of course. that's just blasphemous. actually, i wish people will stop categorizing LP as nu-metal altogether.)

2) Spin Doctors
- i have Two Princes, ha! the song is lyrically-challenged, yes. but damn catchy okay! and trust me, it's a damn fun song to sing at karaokes (although i'm not implying that i go to karaokes. *hemhem*).

3) Sheena Easton
- i think i just single-handedly murdered myself in the social scene, but yes, i have Telefone (Long Distance Love Affair) on my iTunes. this song is 5 years older than me, and is dance-pop to boot - but come on, you can't not like it! i mean, have you seen the video? there's this b-grade horror movie vibe thing going on - it's in black and white; it has a haunted mansion, a cemetery, Count Dracula, Frankenstein's monster, King Kong, Hunchback of Notre Dame, etc. all wrapped up in one. that's cool.

4) Robbie Williams
- he is hot and all girls love him. the ones who say they don't are either full of it, or gay. i am just following the female instinct, it is an inherent disposition, so shut up, okay? i wanted to ravage and devour him when i saw the video for "Radio". my favourite album of his is Swing When You're Winning, you've got to give me some credit for that...

(it is now thirty minutes later and i dunno what else to type ler. see, i recently deleted the embarrassing stuff (cos it's not like i like them anyway, i mean, that's why i find them embarrassing mah) off iTunes cos my laptop's running out of space.)

5) disclaimer: okay, this last one is for the sake of completing the list. now, i am very reluctant to do this cos i've loved this band since day one and i really don't see anything wrong with them, although i know that many of my friends beg to differ, since they constantly make fun of me for liking them; which is the only reason why i am including them, although i think it's not very fair to the band as i don't find them an embarrassing guilty pleasure, it's more like people try to embarrass and bully me into thinking that they are an embarrasing guilty pleasure... okay, so what am I babbling about, you ask?

well i'll come right out and say it - I love My Chemical Romance. i've never denied it, but i've never really proclaimed it to the world either... unless you count me putting Gerard Way into my Laminated List a while back as proclamation. so there it is, i've said it and i don't care what you think. musically, you can tell that MCR is influenced by bands like Smashing Pumpkins, Ink & Dagger, etc., even Queen; and that doesn't hurt one bit, because i love those bands too.

i've got to admit, i was rather reluctant to acknowledge this nonetheless because, their jump to the mainstream was rather sudden, and that earned them a following of evil teeny-boppers. you know, the fly-by types who claim to be 'fans' of the band when they only know the four singles off The Black Parade? yeah. i loathe them with a vengeance.

it kinda spoilt MCR for me when that happened; my spine sort of curled in horror, and i retreated into a tiny dark place called Denial, haha.

but to tell you the truth, I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love is an album that i've owned since i was fourteen... it was 2002, MCR was new in the music scene, and they were still pretty much unheard of even in America, let alone Asia... but i was part of a growing "cult" following because i was into bands like Thrice and Thursday at the time, and when Geoff Rickly (Thursday's lead singer) announced that he recently produced this album for this band called My Chemical Romance, i gave them a go, and i fell in love. the first song i heard was Demolition Lovers, it's beautiful; and it is still a firm favourite of mine until today.

i lived off the few songs that i managed to get online for a bit - most of them were low-quality live recordings - then it so happened that mum was going off to the US on a business trip, and so i begged her to buy me that CD, along with a few others that were unavailable in Malaysia. i told her that it would be quite hard to find, but stressed on how much i wanted it (i think i drove her a tad crazy, i sounded like a broken record the few days before she left). but she did, she found it for me! it was a near miss too - she only managed to get it on the last day of her trip, just a few hours before she was scheduled to fly home.

my mum is awesome =)

i think i'll always have a soft spot for them, cos they were my "companions" during the most crucial ages of my growing years (along with RHCP, SmashPumps, and LP). one can also say that their first album is even more special to me today than it was before, because at least it still lies pretty much untouched by the filthy hands of those stupid new "fans". and the ones who do buy it along with the second and third albums can be considered real fans lah...

right. so that's that, my Top 5. i'm sorry this list turned into a bunch of ramblings toward the end, thanks for reading!

Songs That Turn You On?

2008-09-22T15:55:00.009+08:00

this post is sparked by Nikolai saying very sarcastically that Lady Sovereign really knows how to turn guys on.

enough to swear him off girls, he says (we'll see about that).

that got me laughing so hard i got a side stitch. but seriously, she's only second to Vicky Pollard on the Chav-O-Meter lah!

if you don't know what we're talking about, try googling, say, the lyrics of "Love Me or Hate Me" XD

anyway, we started talking about songs that actually are turn-ons, and being a list-maniac (yes, i am geeky this way), i've made a list.

being picky i ended up with only 12 songs (and not a very diverse twelve at that) after screening more that 50-60 possible track.

here it is, in no particular order:

1) Nine Inch Nails - Closer
- best lines: "You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you, you let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you... help me - you tear down my reason, help me - it's your sex I can smell... I want to fuck you like an animal, I want to feel you from the inside, I want to fuck you like an animal, my whole existence is flawed - you get me closer to God."

2)The Dandy Warhols - You Were The Last High
- best lines: "I am alone but adored, by a hundred thousand more. Then I swore that you were the last, you were the last high."

3) Maroon 5 - Secret
- best lines: "Cool these engines, calm these jets. I ask you how hot can it get? And as you wipe of beads of sweat, slowly you say, “I’m not there yet.” "

4) Maroon 5 - Shiver
- best lines: "I shiver when I hear your name, think about you but it’s not the same - I won’t be satisfied ‘til I’m under your skin."

5) INXS - Taste It
- best lines: "A need to quench the thirst of many, to justify and make ready. Sweet sweet sweet - could you taste it?"

6) INXS - Need You Tonight
- best lines: "I need you tonight cause I'm not sleeping. There's something about you girl, that makes me sweat."

7) INXS - Beautiful Girl
- this song needs to be listen to in its entirety. there's nothing sexual about it, but i guess it's a turn on because it makes me feel, safe. best lines: "She's so scared, so very frightened. Anything could happen, right here tonight. Beautiful girl - stay with me."

8) Day One - Bedroom Dancing
- best lines: "This girl that I'd thought I knew so well - didn't know her until we hit the hotel and we're on the dancefloor, down by the seashore. She said, "These nights we dance together is what I live for." I said, "What about before, before these nights?" She said, "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies." And so we danced and danced and danced and danced and danced all night."

9) Snow Patrol - Set The Fire To The Third Bar
- best lines: "After I have travelled so far, we'd set the fire to the third bar. We'd share each other like an island until exhausted, close our eyelids. And dreaming, pick up from the last place we left off."
then, "I'm miles from where you are, I lay down on the cold ground. I pray that something picks me up, and sets me down in your warm arms." how much more frustrating can it get?

10) Foo Fighters - Walking After You
- another song that makes me feel calm and secure. best lines: "If you'd accept surrender, I'll give up some more. Weren't you adored? I cannot be without you, matter of fact. I'm on your back. If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you."

11) The Rolling Stones - Don't Stop
- best lines: "Well, you bit my lip and drew first blood and warmed my cold, cold heart.
And your wrote your name right on my back, boy your nails were sharp - don't stop! Honey, don't stop."

12) Smashing Pumpkins - By Starlight
- best lines: "By starlight I know you, as lovely as a wish granted true. My life has been empty, my life has been untrue."

two which did not make it but call for honorable mentions are: Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing and Barry White's My First, My Last, My Everything.

they're excluded because i think they're extremely over-used hence a tad clichéd, plus if i include them i'll need three more songs to make it a Top 15, which i do not have.

anyway, feel free to comment and/or contribute.

If All Goes Wrong...

2008-09-18T16:33:00.008+08:00

...at least there's the Smashing Pumpkins Double DVD Set!

it's due to be released on November 11th, 2008.

i'm giddy with joy and anticipation.

according to the band's official website, "If All Goes Wrong" features a 115 mins concert that is filmed over five of the 11 shows during their residency at The Fillmore Auditorium as well as a revealing 105 mins documentary on The Smashing Pumpkin's extraordinary but troubled 20-year career.

bonus materials include a featurette on the Ghost Children (the band's fans) as well as an interview with Pete Townsend of The Who regarding the Smashing Pumpkins.

the official Smashing Pumpkins newspage has full details, a direct link can be found here.

50 reasons why i make a winning girlfriend

2008-09-18T15:13:00.005+08:00

tagged by biscuit. bit o’ self promo here =P
i am thick-skinned, but normally not as much as this, but what the heck.

very lazy so i doubt there’ll be any flow, i’ll just type whatever that comes to mind first, aight? so here goes:-

1) i come with a definitive knowledge of rock music, plus a vast and ever-growing music library that can pawn a lot of people.

2) and no, i don’t consider Avril Lavigne to be rock, although the knowledge is there. but when i say rock i’m talking the real deal here, okay? favourite “branches” of rock music are alternative, funk, punk, metal, and industrial.

3) i am well read; you can talk to me about practically anything and i’ll give you intelligent feedback.

4) except on sports lah, i have zero knowledge about football, etc. but i won’t stop you from watching your games (and if you want to enlighten me i’ll let you be the man and i’ll listen and learn).

5) i have my own opinions. i won’t necessarily agree with everything you say just because i like you. i mean, how dull can it get if you have a puppet for a girlfriend? i don't disagree for the sake of disagreeing either.

6) i won’t force you to watch E! News with me (unless you want to).

7) i’ll let you watch your movie first, before we watch mine.

8) hell, your movie is my movie. i love epics, war movies, mob films, action flicks, sci-fi, fantasy, and generally anything with a lot of guns, blood and gore.

9) i have the Band of Brothers box-set. and CSI and House MD. Jackass and South Park box-sets also got.

10) i’ll watch Love Actually again and let you “complain” about it.

11) my books will most probably appeal to you too. they’re about the same genres as my movies.

12) i have an awesome sense of humor.

13) i love to tease.

14) i can laugh at myself.

15) i need you to protect me when crossing roads.

16) i don’t smoke or do drugs.

17) i don’t and i won’t cheat.

18) i don’t expect you to call me every day.

19) or give me a play-by-play of your entire day and the people you’ve met (all i ask is that you don’t ask me for one).

20) i only need to see you 2 – 3 times a week.

21) i don’t expect you to leave the toilet seat down for me, i can easily do that myself, thank you very much.

22) you don’t have to convince me that you love me every single second of the day.

23) it’s okay if you don’t want to cuddle. but i’ll be game if you do.

24) i won’t order a salad then eat off your plate.

25) i love junk food too!

26) i like spending the whole day lazing around doing nothing.

27) i’m not in for your money. i can never be in a relationship with someone i don’t fancy.

28) i’m not pretentious. i can be a bit of a music and movies snob sometimes, but i’m not pretentious.

29) i’m not high-maintenance – and even if i am, i don’t need you to do the maintaining.

30) i have nice curves.

31) and a nice smile and good oral hygiene – i’ve had braces before, and now i can be in a toothpaste commercial XD

32) i have rosy cheeks 24/7/365, without having to put on any blusher.

33) i strive to look good, more for myself but also for you =)

34) i have long straight hair that you can stroke and play with.

35) i always smell good.

36) i can be one of the boys (but you mustn't be jealous cos most of my friends are guys, except my two best friends. i assure you that everything is purely platonic) .

37) if you want to hang out with your friends alone, i’ll understand.

38) and i won’t bombard you with calls or text messages when you’re out with friends, or give you shit in front of them.

39) i love The Simpsons, Futurama, South Park, and Little Britain.

40) i celebrate Towel Day. and i promise i won’t touch your prized Star Wars collection.

41) i have a Lord of the Rings collection.

42) i love dogs. and i mean real dogs; not Paris Hilton-type rodents.

43) i’ll laugh if you burp or fart. it means that you’re comfortable around me, right?

44) i’ll pretend i didn’t notice you staring at that hot chick that just passed by.

45) i'll check her out with you XD

46) i won’t demand to check your emails, phone messages or chat history.

47) i am fluent in English, Malay, and Cantonese; and i can speak basic Hokkien and and a bit of Mandarin.

48) i’ll remember your birthday, and i’ll remind you of mine beforehand so you won’t get into trouble for forgetting.

49) i can fit in at mamak stalls as well as fine-dining restaurants.

50) i can be random and spontaneous.

the mind-numbing people i have to deal with in life

2008-09-17T14:00:00.008+08:00

scene 1: while riding the LRT on my way home

ditzy-Avril-Lavigne-wannabe (ditzy): hihi! omg, rachel hor! long time no see! do you remember me ah?? we went to school together!! so good to see you hor!

me: (*no freaking clue*) erm, hello! yeah, Ampang Girls right? how are you? (*all the while trying desperately to place a name to her face*)

ditzy: ya ya, Ampunkz forever, yeah! (*acts cute*) i'm fine, fine! you leh? wah, you look very rock ah! you always like that one or what? new look ah? cos i never see you out of uniform before, hahahaha!

me: (*still no freaking clue as to who she is and getting mildly annoyed*) always been, i guess. not a "look" per se, cos it's not like i go out of the way for it, i just feel comfortable this way.

ditzy: (*confused from my usage of "per se"*) erm... oh yeah good for you hahahaha! eh, you got go see Avril Lavigne or not?? so cool lor she! she my idol la she!

me: yeah, you dress kinda like her... (*continuation in my head: "...but tak jadi"*) no, i didn't go.

ditzy: ya ya! i am into punk a lot now! aiyo, why lah, you dunno what you missing leh!

me: (*wincing at the thought that Avril Lavigne is considered "punk"*) oh okay. what sort of bands do you like? (*what's actually in my head: "niamah, thank goodness i don't have to deal with a stadium filled with people like you"*)

ditzy: Avril, of course... and Good Charlotte, and Fall Out Boy, and Panic! at the Disco, and Simple Plan... all those lah. you like them or not??

me: (*dunno whether to laugh or cry*) oh. cool. um, not particularly, no.

ditzy: (*suddenly becoming less ditzy and more cold*) oh. so what do you listen to?

me: erm. RHCP, SmashPumps, LP, Incubus, Muse, Radiohead, Placebo, Pixies, The Verve, all those lah...

ditzy: (*looks lost again*) oh, i see i see, hahaha. i only heard of LP and Muse... i like LP but they too noisy la, and Muse like no tune one, hahaha. Pixies is a girl band ah? new izzit? so cute the name!

me: (*resisting the urge to hit her*) oh, izzit? must have acquired taste lah my dear. fly-by listeners won't understand.

ditzy: ....

scene 2: discussion over my performance in my Accounting finals, by a person who constantly harasses me with sexual innuendoes

bob: so how was it? epic win or epic fail?

me: (*feeling damn emo inside*) epic fail lah. everything cannot balance, sure die one.

bob: haha, listen to old uncle, i speak the truth. easy paper. you are going to pass and then i will have to say, that's because you are a girl and you all overreact.

me: (*in my head: "fuck you lah, since when i overreact over all these things one, if i know i'll definitely pass then i won't say i'll probably fail lah, cos failing is not something that i do and it's fucking embarrassing! some more insult me by more or less calling me "one of the girls". asswipe."*) no no, not overreacting, or being modest, trust me, i'm far from it. you see ah, basic math: *insert boring calculations stating why i'd fail here*.

bob: (*obviously tak faham bahasa*) you, modest? since when... heh. ya, if cannot balance usually drop 20, haha. but then again... you're you... so, i won't bet on anything. nevermind ba, on to the next paper! onwards! TO VICTORY! at least you're not like ____, thank god that you're both so different. if both emo after exams, all four boys shoot ourselves already.

me: no use being emo, unless being emo can magically turn all my answers right. am too proud to be emo i think (*in my head: "i emo also don't emo in front of you lah. if i fail, at least i fail with dignity"*).

bob: good answer. got to go back to my advert(ising) prep(arations). later ba.

me: good luck aight.

bob: thanks, but i could do better with a good luck kiss... or even more betterer with a good luck blow...

me: (*in my head: "tiu! fucking asswipe at it again with the sexual innuendoes. fucking demeaning. you need luck with a shrink and an English tutor"*) you can meet me in your dreams. even then you will be stood up.

bob: ouch. as painful as a cock bite.

scene 3: at the taxi stand in front of Menara Maxis during a thunderstorm

me: (*standing alone for the past fifteen minutes without a taxi in sight*) aiyo...

lady: (*cuts in front of me nonchalantly*) excuse me. (*pretends i don't exist anymore*)

me: (*in my head: "DAMN YOU, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!"*) sorry ma'am, but i was here first. can you please line up at the back?

lady: (*looks at me scornfully, scoffs (i kid you not), then turns her back against me*) i'm no "ma'am", okay? i'm only 25!

me: sorry about that, miss, but i was here first, can you please go to the back? (*in my head: "oh you've got to be fucking kidding me... JAHANAM. FUCKING BARBARIC. I HOPE YOU DIE A VIOLENT DEATH.*)

lady: i don't see a line. there's no one here also.

me: (*losing it - in my head: "fucking unbelievable! then what the fuck am i? mark my words, if i'm a ghost i'll make sure i go malevolent on your fat, sorry ass."*) hello, have some manners and line up, okay? don't be so thick-skinned lah.

lady: eh, don't think you know how to speak Malay fluently you are very great ah. go back to China lah if you don't like. kurang ajar.

me: (*in my head: "you're the one cutting queue and you call me kurang ajar? you're fucking retarded. and if i have to go back to China then it's only fair that you fucking leave too, give the whole land back to the Orang Asli lah."*) well, not as kurang ajar as you, at least i know how to queue.

lady: (*raises her bag, threatening to hit me*) you~!

me: anyway, if i'm 25 and i look 45, i'll shut up about the "madam" thing, then go home and weep. (*quickly leaves before getting hit for real with a fake Louis Vuitton*)

13 mundane thought/things in my head/about me:-

2008-09-14T12:34:00.011+08:00

1) why am i blogging for the sake of blogging? i have nothing important to say... then again, if people only talk when there's something of importance, humanity will soon lose the power of speech.

2) my final exam for Writing for Business and Economics is tomorrow. judging by the fact that i normally spend at least an hour on a single story, i'm bound to be in deep shit since i only have 2 hours to answer 3 questions (2 of which are news writing). shit shit shit shit. how like that?

3) why did The Arctic Monkeys change their super cool logo from their debut album to such an ugly one on their sophomore?

4) i've been compulsively singing Lily (My One and Only) for about three weeks now and i'm getting sick of my own voice. how do i make myself stop??

5) why am i asking so many questions? what is the meaning of life? what are we doing? why are we here? when will this all end? what is life after death? is there life after death? what is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

6) haha, just kidding! the answer is 42.

6) and apparently i can't count. (this particular point is devised to brace my mum to the fact that i might fail my Principles of Accounting paper... i couldn't balance any of the books. my forte lies in words, not numbers.)

7) speaking of my mum, it was her birthday yesterday, Happy Birthday again, mummy =)

8) you know, there's something about Courtney Love - what it is i do not know, but i sure as hell want whatever it is she has that attracts men - cos she dates my type of guys and she's been in fully-fledged relationships with three of my heroes already: Kurt Cobain, Billy Corgan and Edward Norton.

9) speaking of Billy Corgan, i have 17 hours worth of Smashing Pumpkins songs on my phone (there's about 26 hours worth on my iTunes). and 11 hours of Red Hot Chili Peppers. the scary part is that i know them all by heart. yes, i am such a fangirl.

10) now, if only i have as much dedication when it comes to studies... but honestly i'm only really interested in my major, which is Journalism. i also love all 3 of my Law papers as well as International Relations and Creative Writing - but other than that i find the rest of my additional subjects, eg. Public Relations, Research Methods, Accountings, etc. to be extremely dull.

11) i've lost touch with a classmate from secondary school named Husna... we were not very close but she kept crossing my mind these couple of weeks for some reason. i like her a lot cos she's got a great sense of humour, good taste in music, and was constantly in trouble for wearing black eyeliner to school XD
anyone who is still in contact with her, please message me her number, kay?

12) back then, my History teacher Pn. Ruslina (she's also my favourite teacher) hounds us incessantly to use mind-maps. she also stressed that mind-mapping is effective only if "we make it our own" so that it is more likely for us to remember. most of my classmates (who are all used to copying notes word for word) would be lost, going all, "Macam mane ni? Kau lukis ape? Lah, nak lukis ape ye??" but i remember Husna saying, very resolutely, "Lukis muke Kurt Cobain."

13) i've yet to watch Choke (apparently the celup DVD is out - cos they sent a direct-from-studio-copy for the 2008 Sundance Film Festival in January and it leaked), still extremely excited about that (will tell you guys what i think once i've seen it) but i'm already anticipating another release - Watchmen! it'll be out sometime next year. hopefully it'll be as good as the comic books. now, The Dark Knight had also set a new standard for superhero movies - so let's also hope Watchmen can live up to, or better yet, surpass the bar. here's the trailer:-

the movie's official soundtrack (heard in the trailer) is Smashing Pumpkins' The Beginning is the End is the Beginning, which is a double treat for me =)

I WAS BEYOND WRONG.

2008-09-12T00:36:00.004+08:00

i remember mentioning in passing that x.y.u is my least favourite Smashing Pumpkins song... i don't remember to who, or when, or where. it was a long time ago.

i went so far as to say that i am glad Billy Corgan changed the name from the working title "Rachel" to "x.y.u".

well, i take it back. and boy am i sorry about the name change now!

i just heard it performed live and it's probably the best live song ever.

like, i think it is created for the sole purpose of it being performed live - the live versions are better than the album version - they are perfectly imperfect.

the rawness, the energy and the passion... simply fantastic! - so angry and malevolent to the point that it's scary.

"rat-tat-tat, ka-boom-boom, now take that!"

i love it.

OMG so pretty!

2008-09-10T18:04:00.007+08:00

introducing the latest generation of the iPod nano, now in nine chromatic colours, with additional "Genius" features - tempo recognition (you select one song and it'll be able to match up to a hundred similar songs on your iTunes), personal DJ, shake to shuffle, custom engraving, and finally, at long last... an accelerometer! bwahahahaha - i'm sorry i sound like an advert but them pretties are just released today and, and, and oh boy i feel like a kid on Christmas Day~!

trying hard not to be a such a susceptible gull, but i love gadgets, and after being terribly disappointed with the blockhead of an iPhone...

*drooooooooooooooooool!*

iPods are so pretty.

aah, i want i want i want the red one!!! 16GB okay!! that's it, from today onwards no need to eat ady. all allowances going towards the nano fund.

instead of calling them nano-chromatics, Apple should call them the nano-orgasmics.

ps. i'm sorry for my abuse of the exclamation mark.

Choke On This

2008-09-03T14:12:00.003+08:00

looking forward to Choke! it'll be released September 26th.

it's a movie based on a great book of the same name by Chuck Palahniuk. i'm super excited because:

1) Chuck Palahniuk is one of my favourite authors. i've read Choke countless times and it never fails to crack me up (certain scenes turn me on).

2) i'm big on black humour and sarcasm. satire is my middle name. Choke is everything i look for - loud, incendiary, vulgar, profane, obsence, hilarious.

3) well, Chuck Palahniuk novels are MEANT for the bigscreen, seriously. now that Fight Club and Choke had been made into movies, i would like to see Survivor, Rant, Haunted and Invisible Monsters on film too. especially Survivor.

4) as a fan, it'll be fun to spot the trademarks - reverse orders (although Choke is more linear), plots twists which relates back to the ending at the beginning of the story, cornflower blue, therapy groups, short sentences, repetitions of certain lines, etc.

5) Sam Rockwell is playing Victor Mancini - i think he fits the role perfectly, plus i totally have the hots for him - he's in my Laminated List, remember?

anyway, check out the red band trailer, you will not be disappointed =)

it'll prolly not come to our theatres due to the uptight Malaysian censorship board, but then there's always DVD.

call me childish... but

2008-08-29T00:39:00.001+08:00

i am so in love with my Cookie Monster.

AWWWM-num-num-num-num-num!

2008-08-28T13:23:00.007+08:00

I love my birthday presents this year! although technically my birthday isn't until this Saturday.

so far, mum bought me the Kaleido Red/Black BigTic watch from Fossil, which i love love love cos it has an uber cool thick black leather strap and its screen can interchange between red and black or morph continuously =) it's so me!

my Aunty June got me the definitive illustrated encyclopedia of Rock, a book on album art, and another on copywriting; plus lots of special edition guitar picks to add to my pick collection... last Christmas she got me the Jimi Hendrix ones. ah, my family knows me so well.

and guess what i got from Jamie and Mark?

a Cookie Monster!!! it's the newer baby version. i think i've told them; i've even blogged about how much i loved Sesame St. as a child. next to Oscar the Grouch, the Cookie Monster is my favourite muppet. i'm glad they remembered! cos i'm actually trying to find the traditional darker blue one but i don't think they make those anymore. i dunno why they have to go and change him but i still love the Cookie Monster now, he's one awesome muppet - especially for his deep, gruff voice and demented googly eyes - he can definitely give all death metal singers out there a run for their money.

don't believe me? watch this:

The Verve's new album out now

2008-08-25T23:17:00.012+08:00

The Verve's back together with their fourth album Forth, officially released worldwide today!

ahh, i am so thrilled so thrilled so thrilled!!!

The Verve is terribly underrated, it doesn't do them any justice.

then again, they are an aquired taste, like Radiohead.

it has been 10 years since the last album, Urban Hymns... but who can ever forget the album's anthemic, liberating lead single, Bitter Sweet Symphony?

it's-just-about-one-of-the-best-songs-ever-written-in-the-history-
of-rock-thus-far!

it's aptly titled too, for it had been both blessing and bane for the band. for those not in the know, the song was indeed a bittersweet affair. it shot The Verve into rockstardom - yet they recieved not a single cent from royalties.

even though the lyrics and continuous guitar riff were solely Richard Ashcroft's, the song's sampling of The Rolling Stones' The Last Time as its foundation created copyright issues; as The Rolling Stones claimed that they used too much of it and threatened the band to pull the record off the stores unless they get 100% royalties.

maybe Keith Richards ran out of heroin money.

then the worst happened, when the song's copyright went to Mick Jagger and Richards. Ashcroft fell into depression and The Verve disbanded shortly thereafter.

i think that it's really shitty of Jagger and Richards, since Ashcroft did ask them for permission beforehand to sample the song, and they had agreed. and even if they have taken all the money, the song credits should have been Ashcroft's since there had been substantial effort to make the song original.

see how important it is to have a good lawyer?

anyway. that album has always been one of my favourites and it'll always be, since it's still on heavy rotation after so many years... classics will alway remain classics. each song on the album is beautiful in its own way.

and now there's a new album =)

i've listened to the entire thing on MySpace and i can't wait to get my hands on the CD!!!

the new single, Love is Noise - is simply wonderful.

Please visit:

The Verve's Official Website
The Verve's MySpace

The Collectables

2008-08-10T22:09:00.001+08:00

independent Pop Rock duo from Melbourne, their riffs are catchy, killer hooks, their beats so contagious you'd wanna get up and dance, the lyrics are fun with great sing-along choruses... basically, they put me in a good mood.

i especially love the song "Pink Braces, Black Shoes", the spirit of The Collectables permeate every aspect of it. lively and energetic, the song's funky rhythm adds magic to every line; the chorus is infectious! it's a definite "stuck-in-your-head" track that will make guys drool as they watch the girls doing their thing on the dancefloor =)

they sound a bit like The Killers/Kings of Leon - you can tell that they are influenced by these two groups, and many more (there's a hint of The Dresden Dolls) - but definitely infused with a great amount of their own personal style.

perhaps they still need to polish up a bit, but then again i think it's just the recording that's problematic, not them.

I love them =)

go on, check them out, listen to their tunes at:-

Triple J Unearthed
Myspace
Facebook

to my readers: when they hit it big, which they will - remember that you first heard of them here!

The Horrors

2008-08-09T12:32:00.010+08:00

i am loving this band right now.

i heard "Sheena is a Parasite" a couple of years ago and was instantly hooked, but i couldn't get my hands on the EP. the song was re-released on their 2007 debut but the album wasn't available in Malaysia until now.

they are my current outlet of angst and frustration on these late nights (which are occuring more frequently) where i'd wish i could just go to sleep, if it weren't for all them goddamn assignment deadlines.

sometimes i wish that i am the type who'd be alright to let them swoosh past without caring two hoots.

in a bout of lazy journalism, The Horrors' Strange House sounds like a cross between a psychotic, evil version of The B-52's (on a killing rampage) and if Depeche Mode went dance-metal (on hyperdrive); seasoned with the essence of The Damned.

seriously, the lead singer sounds exactly like Fred Schneider.

haha, not sure if that will make any sense to many, but i think my mum will since she loves The B-52's and Depeche Mode.

best opening ever!

2008-08-09T00:06:00.006+08:00

the opening ceremony of the 29th Summer Olympics 2008 in Beijing had just ended.

i don't think that it is over-rated to say that it's the best opening in Olympic history!

man, Zhang Yimou and Zhang Jigang really outdid themselves in their direction and choreography...

i watched in awe as the performances were absolutely breathtaking; the scale of each performance is epic and the synchronisations were astoundingly perfect.

i mean, SPECTACULAR is the word to describe the entire event!

i especially loved the 2,008 strong Fou drummers. they are so cool!

and of course, the giant printing press thingy with the movable type... my field, okay.

i'm so proud i'm Chinese =)

good luck London.

can die.

2008-08-08T05:21:00.001+08:00

Communication Research Methods is officially the nastiest paper that i've encountered so far.

i have not slept for 26 hours.

female singers?

2008-07-29T10:55:00.014+08:00

you guys would be hearing more from me these few weeks, i think.

cos i blog when i'm stressed, and boy, am i stressed...

assignments are currently piling up to the point of it avanlanching on my pretty teknik rebonding hair so i've been spending most of the past week in front of the screen all day every day, and i'm still far from done!

am in a reclusive bubble yet again cos i now find it hard to talk or interact with most people directly, to the extent that i find it extremely distressing whenever the phone rings.
but writing in my blog is no problem =)

i've left Channel [V] on, for some background music as well as to catch up with what's hot on the contemporary charts, since there's really no time to just sit and watch anymore. and yikes, is it just me or does new music really, really suck nowadays?

Mariah Carey (aka Ms. Melismatic Whistle Register Overkill) is on right this minute, and gawd I CAN'T STAND HER!!!

I have very low tolerance for the female voice. "Power Houses" like Celine Dion and Mariah Carey drives me absolutely bonkers. you know how certain frequencies make dogs mad? it's like that.

like, i know you can sing, so stop oversinging it already! you're making my ears bleed!

seriously, any higher, and it can be used as a biological weapon.

high-intensity ultrasounds are known to cause ear, lung and intestinal damage; muscle contractions, arterial flutter and finally causing the cardiovascular and central nervous systems to shut down, you know!

ahem. pardon the exaggeration, i like my amps to go up to eleven.

anyway, people often ask me, "so you mean you don't like any female singers at all?? how can!"

no, that's not true. i like a lot of female singers, it just doesn't seem that way because i prefer to bitch about the many more that i hate. it's just more fun *wicked grin*.

and when it's time to talk about things i love, the men always win!

but let's break tradition, here's a list (in no particular order, and i mean that - i don't have time to rank, so don't kill me if your favourite or a legend is at the end of the list) of female singers i like:-

1) Sarah McLachlan (i love her! i have all her albums! i want "Answer" to be played at my wedding!)

2) Dolores O'Riordan (of The Cranberries fame... i grew up listening to them. does all Irish singers have angelic voices like her?)

3) Sinead O'Connor (her voice is haunting... i love her cover of Nirvana's All Apologies, as well as the collaborations she had with U2, eg. Heroine, I'm Not Your Baby, and You Made Me The Thief Of Your Heart. i wish she didn't trash talk about them though, so for that i don't fancy her as much as i do her voice)

4) Alanis Morissette (one of the best-selling artists in the 1990s... Jagged Little Pill, anyone?)

5) Deborah Dyer aka Skin (of Skunk Anansie; she's got Attitude with a capital A)

6) Shirley Manson (of Garbage; lead singer of one of my favourite bands and if i'm a guy i'd fancy her)

7) Patti Smith (The Godmother of PUNK! she's a singer, songwriter, poet, Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Famer, ROCK JOURNALIST. need i say more? i have a lot of respect for this lady.)

8) Deborah Harry (of Blondie. one of my mum's favs... everytime i hear her i think of the numerous times my mum and i dance around the living room singing to her songs at the top of our lungs. hee. my favourite's Call Me.)

9) Annie Lennox (of Eurythmics, my dad likes them i think. i like her solo efforts more, she's soulful and haunting at the same time, who else does that?)

10) Martha Wainwright (sister of Rufus Wainwright; she's had many awesome collaborations with Annie Lennox, Snow Patrol, etc. and she's a humanitarian!)

11) Amanda Palmer (of The Dresden Dolls; quirky, fun and full of kick-ass energy. Laura loves her too!)

12) Dionne Warwick (I Say A Little Prayer, Wishin' and Hopin', Walk On By, Do You Know The Way To San Jose... i can go on and on and on)

13) Aretha Franklin (The Queen of Soul, baby. people who have not heard Chain of Fools or Respect deserves to be shot.)

14) Dido Armstrong (ah, i was obsessed with her once. No Angel used to be on heavyplay until my dad complained.)

15) PJ Harvey (PJ Harvey, man... not the prettiest of the lot but damn I want to be her. to me she's the No. 1 Female Rockstar.)

16) Whitney Houston (now here's a true-blue powerhouse! do you know that The Bodyguard OST is the best selling soundtrack of all time? as in it still is? no one topped it yet.)

17) Jacqui Abbott (of The Beautiful South; and haha, who won't remember "Don't Marry Her, Fuck Me?")

18) Carole King ("I Feel The Earth Move" never fails to cheer me up)

19) Gwen Stefani (loved her in her No Doubt days; like her a lot less since her 2nd solo album)

20) Suzanne Vega (folksy tunes with highly intelligent lyrics; she not only sings, she tells stories)

shit, i need to go ady. assignments!!

Use your brain, boy.

2008-07-22T14:57:00.010+08:00

am currently in a pissy mood cos this asshole just accused me for being a "high-maintenance rich kid with 500 dollar combat boots," among other things.

excuse me, i'm not a high-maintenance rich kid, just more intelligent and cost-effective - i've been wearing my Timberlands almost everyday for the past 3 years now and they're still as good as new; unlike his crappy 80 ringgit faux-Vans from Chinatown which has to be replaced every 6 months.

that's 480 ringgit by the end of the 3rd year, and by the start of the 4th he would have forked out another 80 bucks, making it a total of 560 ringgit (and still going) for another embarrassing pair of cheap imitations while i'm still in my original, highly-comfortable, super-durable and very handsome pair of boots.

which means that on a long run, he spends much more. isn't all this basic economics? he's not only more high-maintenance - he's making himself poorer while his feet still looks like crap.

uneducated bastard.

The Dark Knight

2008-07-20T01:00:00.011+08:00

go watch it!

best superhero movie of 2008 that i've seen thus far.

that's saying a lot coming from me since Edward Norton's my hero and, well, what's not to like about Robert Downey Jr.? he's sexy and manly and he sings like an angel.

the tone and ambience of The Dark Knight is gritty and transgressional, just the way i like things to be.

and the cinematography's superb too, Gotham City is so real i could readily believe that it actually exists - it doesn't have the graphic novel-ish feel of its predecessors at all.

although Christian Bale's Batman was rather dull (to tell the truth), the rest of the cast saved the day - Gary Oldman stood out even though his role as James Gordon didn't really allow him much to work with (still strange to see him as the good guy though) while Aaron Eckhart as Two-Face is simply electrifying.

Heath Ledger's portrayal of The Joker is AMAZING. i still can't believe we've lost him. it's a real pity... he's so talented. and very likeable too - don't think i can consider myself a big fan but i've been following his work ever since i saw Two Hands and 10 Things I Hate About You in 1999.

but i digress... all in all, those three should have been given more screen time, and Batman less.

sigh, there's so much i want to say, but i can't without giving the plot away as well.

so i shall just shut up for now and not spoil it for you.

oh, i saw Journey to the Center of the Earth too, and it deserves a mention cos it's also good.
action-packed and very entertaining, exactly what you expect out of a Brendan Fraser movie =)

p.s. is it wrong of me to feel so tremendously turned on by Heath Ledger's Joker?

seriously, i'm lusting over him cos he's like, Sir Psycho Sexy.

(but i don't want to be like Harley Quinn. yeech!)

R.I.P. Heath, i know you're in a better place now, and happy.

I am Jack's pompous ass.

2008-06-22T01:09:00.006+08:00

so, Edward Norton is in a summer blockbuster.

the success of The Incredible Hulk left me at a crossroad...

i'm not sure if i'm pleased or not.
i guess it's both.

for one, it's really awesome that he's now got the recognition from the rest of the prehistoric world who didn't know who he is before this.

i mean, a critically acclaimed, dignified actor like him...
not to mention his many director/producer/screenwriter credentials.

hell, he should very well be a household name.

on the other hand, he's supposed to be a cult hero.

our cult hero. MY cult hero.

you know, Primal Fear. American History X. Rounders.
25th Hour. Death to Smootchy. The Illusionist.

Fight Club.

he's the leader, the role model, the prospect to the legion of
fucked up, transgressional individuals that we are.

at least, i need to believe that he is.

he's the only reason why i'm not completely sucked in by this materialistic world that we live in.

you know, how the things you own end up owning you.

that there might just be hope for us yet.

Chuck Palahniuk's words, but he made them true.
yes, i'm heavily influenced by both Mr. Norton himself,
and the people that he portrays.

silly really, and a little dangerous.

anyway, this movie will definitely be a great license for him to actually do the things he wants to do in Hollywood. let's just hope that his future installments will lean towards the direction of his previous works, otherwise i'm not sure if i can handle it.

hey, he's supposed to be the guy a casual movie-goer won't be
familiar with (to my outrage, of course. such travesty!).

which will then be my cue, my entry point to gush on and on about what a great, talented, substantial actor he is.

pardon my celluloid snobbery. rather pretentious, i know.

so yeah, i'm kinda reluctant to come to terms with the fact that he's reached the celebrity status where girls who don't know the first thing about him or his past efforts now go, "Oh my gawd, he's so hot!!!" when before this, they didn't care two hoots even though i tried convincing them.

actually, i don't know why i bother with them in the first place, but...

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

And so, to them bandwagon chicks:

I. TOLD. YOU. SO.

Song Titles

2008-05-30T14:07:00.004+08:00

tagged again by Jaiden on his super-exclusive, password-protected blog (so secretive dunno for what XD).
there's actually another one, but i malas lah. i'll do that another time.

Choose a band/artist and answer the following questions using only their song titles as answers.

let's go with Red Hot Chili Peppers, ja? cos i know all their songs by heart, no need to think so much.

1. Are you male or female?
Sexy Mexican Maid/Venice Queen.

2. Describe yourself.
I Like Dirt.

3. How do SOME people feel about you?
Little Miss Lover (actually a Hendrix cover, but i so deperately want to use it, haha)

4. How do you feel about yourself?
Nobody Weird Like Me/Freakey Styley.

5. Describe your ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend.
Shallow Be Thy Game/No Chump Love Sucker/Minor Thing (ooh, i can go on for ever)

6. Describe current girlfriend/boyfriend.
Out Of Range.

7. Describe where you want to be.
Out In L.A.

8. Describe how you live.
One Hot Minute (at a time).

9. Describe how you love.
Subway To Venus.

10.What would you ask for if you had just one wish?
Get On Top.

11.Share a few words of wisdom.
Can't Stop.

12.Favourite things.
Blood Sugar Sex Magik!

13.Describe your day.
Nevermind.

14.Now say goodbye.
Don't Forget Me.

Rescue me

2008-05-06T15:09:00.007+08:00

Dear Lord my Redeemer,

Save me from my rage.
Save me from my pain.

I question my existence.
I fear that I am and will be nothing but ordinary.

Save me from my bitterness.
Save me from my uncertainty.

Tell me where to go.
Tell me what to do.

I feel hollow - save me from the emptiness of my youth.

- Rachel.

he actually made me like a Mariah Carey song.

2008-04-16T20:54:00.005+08:00

okay, before you comment that i've sold out, yes; i've succumbed to the world of mainstream pop gibberish, with every scene a product placement of some sort.

whaddayagonnado, shoot me?

i can't help it if the whole family watches it, okay. it's bonding time.

but if David Cooke doesn't win American Idol 7 then I really don't know what to say.

that man is a genius when it comes to arrangements.

Laminated List 2008

2008-04-01T00:51:00.002+08:00

- UPDATED 08/10/2008 -
I added an extra five to my ten, so here's my newly reordered Top 15:-

01) Edward Norton

02) Johnny Depp

03) Benicio Del Toro

04) Robert Downey Jr.

05) Brad Pitt

06) Timothy Olyphant

07) Peter Sarsgaard

08)Josh Duhamel

09) Eddie Cahill

10) Damian Lewis

11) Josh Holloway

12) Brandon Boyd

13) Taylor Kitsch

14) Gerard Way

15) Sam Rockwell

PS. i took Heath Ledger off the list, cos i think it's disrespectful to have him here now.

PS2. i think you can see a pattern as to what sort of men i like.

PS3. my mum says Damian Lewis is not really hot; as in he's not good-looking, just very pleasant.

i beg to differ... i mean, a redhead in Kevlar with a gun and badge?
PWOARR! makes my knees weak:-

this was written a while ago. it's the 12th of March now, but what the hell.

2008-03-02T16:52:00.012+08:00

hello all

and yes, before you comment, you've got that right - it's not imagined, this is an actual new post, yay!

been not blogging lately, as life has been pretty mundane. i also noticed that i rant more that i do anything else, and i tend to curse a lot while ranting; so that's another reason. don't wanna come across as a foul-mouthed, bitter, cynical misanthropist, you know?

but who am i kidding, i probably am.

anyway, life is still pretty mundane at the moment, even though i'm on my semester break. didn't have any time to myself, with Chinese New Year and all. was glad to be back in Ipoh, but things just aren't as festive as they used to be. most of my aunts and uncles had to leave the day after i got back because of work, so i didn't get to spend time with them.

had a trip up to Camerons too, to escaped the new year heat - it's very commercialised now, full of tourists; but all in all enjoyable, i think i put on a few pounds there.

today i'm helping out at mum's office, but i've done everything they've asked me to, and they're in a meeting right now so there's no asking them if there's anything else - am terribly bored hence i've commandeered my mum's laptop to blog, hee.

i wrote the emcee script for one of her events, and i must say- i enjoyed it a lot! here's one step closer towards becoming a copywriter=) yup, it's either that or becoming a rock journalist; that's my ultimate goal but at this point of time a career in copywriting seems more promising.

unless of course i get an internship in Q or Rolling Stone.

i spent hours chatting with Jing Pei the other day, which was long-overdued and, very much needed. talked about a medley of things but had an exceptionally good time dissing boys who are after us, which is not very nice but very, very fun. i mean, some of the things they do and say borderline on being spastic.

anyway i think i've mentioned this before, i have a very weird fetish - when it comes to boys i am only interested in a particular breed - he needs to be tall, preferably with long hair and and extremely into funk rock or alternative music, who could either sing or play killer hooks on the guitar... (basically, i want a John Frusciante)

i am on the wrong continent, people!

anyway, the chat died a premature death and went to hell after experiencing various cock-ups by trusty ole MSN - trusty because you can always trust it to fuck up at one point or another.

also found out when i was out with her yesterday that her timing has gone from bad to worse - her 2pm exasperatingly turned out to be 4pm. but i still love her lah.

ooh, i've seen three movies this holiday - Sweeney Todd, Atonement and Jumper.

sad to say that Sweeney Todd was just okay for me, even though it stars the ever-so-talented-and-sexy Johnny Depp (my second favourite actor after Edward Norton). the plot's very easy to follow, yet i can't help but feel a little muddled up for some reason. and none of the songs are memorable except maybe There's No Place Like London.

Jumper is a fun action flick to watch, but that's just all there is - a no brainer that is all action; sans plot, sans background story, sans character development. all in all not very stimulating. Hayden Christensen, for all his good looks, came across as annoying. actually, is it just me or are all the characters that he had played annoying? found Jamie Bell quite charming though. i love guys with street-smarts.

i also love Atonement. don't want to say much - just watch it!

kinda lazy to write anymore, so i'm going to go off and play Bookworm. Here's another list to sign off with:-

Current Top Twenty Most Played Artists on iTunes

1) Red Hot Chili Peppers
2) Foo Fighters
3) U2
4) The Beatles
5) Incubus
6) Ian Dury
7) The Dandy Warhols
8) INXS
9) Radiohead
10) The Smashing Pumpkins
11) Placebo
12) Muse
13) The Violent Femmes
14) Snow Patrol
15) Oasis
16) Blur
17) The Arctic Monkeys
18) The Dresden Dolls
19) John Frusciante
20) The White Stripes

so all in all, still no changes in my taste in music. i hate most of the new stuff... man i feel old.

p.s. ! Incubus' Here In My Room has been stuck in my head for two months.

p.s. 2 ooh, recently i found that i love going through people's bags.

i need to complain to the world, else i can't sleep.

2007-12-16T09:19:00.001+08:00

i haven't slept well for two days so i'm kinda braindead but try as hard as i might i couldn't sleep because the Milo incident is still running through and through my head driving me absolutely bonkers. so here's a ramble from me to the world - it's not going to have the appropriate amount of punctuations but i don't care.

i like my Milo made plain, without milk or sugar. lots of Milo, like five tablespoons full; but not a single drop of milk or sugar. i've always hated that, milk and sugar in my Milo. i'd never drink it.

and i guess what made me loathe it even more was after this one ordeal while on a trip to Genting Highlands when i was 12 where my god-ma made me a cup of Milo with milk and i was made to finish it as she and my mum ganged-up on me and insisted that there wasn't anything else other that Milo in it. it was the most frustrating thing ever and i remember slipping away to the toilet after that, locked the door shoved two fingers down my throat to make that horrid stuff come back up and then secretly i cried.

i know i sound like a psycho but that's the way things go for me when it comes to eating. i love food so much i'd rather be kinda plump and eat whatever i want than being slim but miserable. but making me eat something i dislike is like asking me to jump off the cliff. yeah yeah, save me all the "i must be thankful for millions are starving" talk - if they haven't make my Milo wrong in the first place, i would've finished it.

anyway, i brought this up cos the same thing happened to me this morning, i ordered Milo kosong and the stupid mamak idiot gave me a cup with milk and/or sugar. i took a sip and i rejected it on the spot and i wanted them to make me another glass but my dad helped that asshole by insisting that it is void of milk and/or sugar, so they didn't. i refused to drink it, although i was starving and now i have gastric. so that still pisses me off at this very moment. because it wasn't plain. it wasn't plain at all. and i'm deprived of Milo cos i can go through a tin a month which explains why we're currently out of Milo at home (again) and i'm dreaming of having a cup right now...

but thank goodness i didn't have to drink any of that awful cup at the mamak because my mum agreed this time that there was milk.

thank goodness for you guys

2007-11-10T20:07:00.000+08:00

i've been up doing assignments till the wee hours these past weeks. currently, am feeling extremely exhausted; and my mood had been far from nice lately.

Nat-nat was back for two weeks... i hardly spent time with her... but i had a wonderful time on the few days that i did. plus, i got to see more of my Aunty June, Uncle Patrick, Jamie and Mark too - and the change of routine and environment did me good. we baked a lot by day and talked a lot at night =) Nat-nat told me tons of very amusing stories about her adventures and experiences in st.tropez, st. barts, antigua, etc. i'd love to be able to sail the oceans like her one day!

i was really upset when it was time for her to fly home...

Jaiden and Nikolai kept me company throughout the nights, and guys - i'm very grateful. if i were to sit through those late nights alone without you guys distracting me by cracking a joke or two now and again, i'd go nuts.

and Jaiden... i'm sticking to my choice of Ryan Dunn as The Man! of Jackass over Johnny Knoxville or Bam Margera, no matter what you say. Johnny Knoxville may be hot (and frickin' crazy) and Bam is definitely very cool, but Ryan Dunn is like a big, cuddly teddy bear with an edge =P plus, i like guys who can stand pain.

Nikolai: COME HOME! you can stay with me...

Ian Dury rocks my socks

2007-11-07T09:40:00.000+08:00

i recently discovered the wonders of Ian Dury and the Blockheads. yes, call me behind, i don't know why i've not discovered them earlier either. heard of Ian Dury, yes; but i somehow never managed to hear his stuff. now, if you think, like me, that Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention are fuckin' awesome, wait till you hear Mr. Dury here. he's deemed by many as the Godfather of Punk.

and unlike Mr. Zappa, he doesn't have anything annoying songs, like Valley Girl. i can't for the life of me understand how this is one of his bigger hits. that song fucking drives me crazy. Mr. Dury's a few notches higher lyrically too.

sadly, these two music geniuses left us already. uncannily enough, both of them died of cancer. now, why is it that the exceptional musicians always leave us early while wankers with zero musical talent like Pete Doherty still lives despite all the goddamn binge-drinking and drug abuse?

anyway, i heard the song Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll one time, and was immediately hooked. it was kinda borderlining obsession, in fact. couldn't help but hum the tune every other minute, and as i'm sitting here typing, i'm humming it still. i went out and got his album a couple of days later, although i've only heard his one song that one time.

it was money well spent (okay, i asked my mum to sponsor me), since New Boots and Panties!! is fantastic; one of the better albums that i've gotten this year. i think i've fallen head over heels in love with him.

so, give Mr. Dury a go... Wiki him, visit his websites:- http://www.iandury.com/ and http://www.iandury.co.uk/ ... download, beg, steal, borrow... but preferably buy his albums... just give him a go already, will ya?

Numb - U2

2007-09-26T16:55:00.000+08:00

Don't move
Don't talk out of time
Don't think
Don't worry
Everything's just fine

Just fine.

Don't grab
Don't clutch
Don't hope for too much
Don't breathe
Don't achieve
Don't grieve without leave

Don't check
Just balance on the fence
Don't answer
Don't ask
Don't try and make sense

Don't whisper
Don't talk
Don't run if you can walk
Don't cheat
Compete
Don't miss the one beat

Don't travel by train
Don't eat
Don't spill
Don't piss in the drain
Don't make a will

Don't fill out any forms
Don't compensate
Don't cower
Don't crawl
Don't come around late
Don't hover at the gate

Don't take it on board
Don't fall on your sword
Just play another chord
If you feel you're getting bored

I feel numb.
I feel numb.

Too much is not enough
Gimme some more of that stuff
Too much is not enough

Don't change your brand
Don't listen to the band
Don't gape
Don't ape
Don't change your shape
Have another grape

Don't plead
Don't bridle
Don't shackle
Don't grind
Don't curve
Don't swerve
Don't lie, die, serve

Too much is not enough

I feel numb.
I feel numb.

Gimme what you got
Gimme what I don't get
Gimme what you got
Too much is not enough

I feel numb.

Don't theorise, realise, polarise,
Chance, dance, dismiss, apologise

I feel numb.

Don't spy
Don't lie
Don't try
Imply
Detain, explain, start again

Gimme some more
Gimme some more of that stuff
Gimme some more
Too much is not enough

I feel numb.

Don't triumph
Don't coax
Don't cling
Don't hoax
Don't freak
Peak
Don't leak
Don't speak

I feel numb.
I feel numb.

Don't project
Don't connect
Protect
Don't expect
Suggest

I feel numb.

Don't project
Don't connect
Protect
Don't expect
Suggest

I feel numb.
I feel numb.

Don't struggle
Don't jerk
Don't collar
Don't work
Don't wish
Don't fish
Don't teach
Don't reach

I feel numb.

Don't borrow
Don't break
Don't fence
Don't steal
Don't pass
Don't press
Don't try
Don't feel

I feel numb.

Don't touch
Don't dive
Don't suffer
Don't rhyme
Don't fantasize
Don't rise
Don't lie

I feel numb.

Don't project
Don't connect
Protect
Don't expect
Suggest

I feel numb.

Don't project
Don't connect
Protect
Don't expect
Suggest

I feel numb.

disgusting.

2007-09-25T21:45:00.002+08:00

call me behind time, call me rigid, call me whatever you want; but it wasn't until just now that i've heard the All Saints' 1998 cover of Red Hot Chili Peppers' Under the Bridge on Channel [V].

i've never heard anything so offensive in my life.

imagine my horror, when four skinny-as-fuck teeny boppers (then; now they're just old hags) practically RAPED the classic No. 1 RHCP song by half whispering it in a sing-song voice to a horrendous arrangement, possibly in an attempt to sound grown up and soulful.

i'm going to be childish and say that the All Saints are fucking RETARDS. but then again, it is very well justified, for they made it very clear that they understood nothing about what the song really meant.

the lyrics were modified to CRAP, less than crap - it's verbal diarrhoea. the original was about coping with the loss of a best friend, about over-coming addiction, about being at the lowest point of your life and still trying to belong; IT IS NOT A SONG ABOUT SOME LOSER PINING AWAY FOR HER FUCKING BOYFRIEND WHO FUCKING DUMPED HER!

to add insult to injury, those fugly anorexic low-lives can't even fucking sing! no one, i repeat, NO ONE, not even a good singer, should be allowed to mess with a RHCP classic, let alone pitchy stick-insects.

so, i know (the-most-awesomest-guitarist-of-my-generation-ever!) John Frusciante composed and played the wonderful hooks of Under The Bridge, so he probably cried when he heard it, but i betcha all i have that HILLEL SLOVAK rolled in his grave when he heard the stupid cover of this beautiful song that is dedicated to him.

i know i sound like a stark raving mad lunatic, but if you love RHCP too, and if you've heard that piece of manufactured pop shit, oooh, i'm sure you'll feel the same. and i am also well aware that i'm currently cursing like a sailor, but nothing could ever be more vulgar that what i've just subjected my poor ears to. i'm ashamed to admit that i've actually heard it.

i mean, what the hell is "One time... two time... three time... four time..." ?????!!!!!

this is far from being insulting. this is blasphemy at work, that's what it is.

the All Saints will burn in hell for this, mark my words.

words can't describe how angry i am right now

2007-09-18T02:46:00.000+08:00

some mindfuck just woke me up by phoning my cell at two in the fucking morning wanting to be "friends".

that pathetic piece of shite said he called at random.

i told him to go fuck himself, but now i can't go back to sleep and i have my Journalism II finals tomorrow.

my blood is boiling and i hope that wanker gets STD and have his penis rot off.

or, better yet, may he have interrupted sleep forever more.

his number is 012-9132383, all of you can do me a favour by calling him at god-forsaken hours and then hang up, until he changes his number. of course, make sure that you've set your lines to Private first.

don't want him calling you back now, do you?

argh!

2007-09-15T18:38:00.000+08:00

it has been two weeks since Linkin Park announced their South East Asia tour dates but there's still nothing announced for Kuala Lumpur ='(

i am steadily feeling more and more miserable as the days pass.

why???!

why Singapore but not Malaysia?

hello world

2007-09-14T15:30:00.000+08:00

just came home from today's law paper, and i must say, with both National Goals and Programmes plus Constitutional Framework and Politics final papers off my "oh-shit-i-so-need-an-epiphany-right-now" list, i have one thing to say (ala Homer Simpson) - WOOHOO!

seriously, that is like, the best expression ever.

there's still my Journalism II paper to stress over though.

Jaiden asked me the other day if i have a favourite blog that i visit almost daily. well, it's The Misadventures of Sibeh Sian and i think everyone should give it a go =)

the entire thing is made up, but it's super hilarious. though i think that you'd have to back track to the first entry if you've not read it before, so that you'll know the who's who.

ooh, and for those who happen to see this before before 8pm, there's a Joy Division tribute at The Loft tonight...

gonna go shower, later people!

ahahaha i knew it!

2007-09-13T18:43:00.001+08:00

Your celebrity soul mate is someone who's Indie

Who's Your Celebrity Soul Mate?

Brought to you by Tickle

older. and wiser, i hope.

2007-09-02T01:03:00.000+08:00

three days ago, i turned 19.

wasn't very enthusiastic about it, getting older. on the night of August 29th, i debated if i should just retire early; or stay up and watch the clock... watch the last few moments of me being 18 slowly (but surely) tick away.

guess i have the Peter Pan Syndrome - i hope it doesn't get worse as the years pass and the numbers increase.

whatever it is, my family and friends certainly did not allow me to forget it. the very second midnight struck, i was bombarded with calls and flooded with text messages, all bringing birthday wishes - the first person to reach me, of course, was Jing Pei.

i'm not complaining ~ far from it. i am very grateful that i'm so fortunate to be blessed with a loving and close-knit family, a wonderful circle of friends and an interesting array of acquaintence.

no, it's all about me turning 19.
it didn't feel any different... i felt no difference.

and for that, i don't know if i should feel happy or sad.

call me childish, but i was half expecting some sort of epiphany - stupid, yes; but it *is* my last year of being a teenager!

this year, time seems to have escaped me so.

there's not enough time to do the things i want, let alone spend it with people.
it seems like there's not enough time to even think about the people that i remember, let alone remember the people that i've forgotten; and that's just plain depressing and draining.

does that make sense?

i look at my mum, whose job does not allow her to disconnect, and i know that that must be how she feels, only maybe 10 times worse. and it frickin' scares me. it scares me that when i start working, i'd be like that.

my mum, i love her. and i'm very grateful with what she's done, and is doing for me. i've not done a good job showing it though. we are both very opinionated, and i have a mouth that constantly runs away from me.

see, i must always have the last word. and my mum sort of does too. can you spot the problem?

this doesn't mean we have a bad relationship though. i can say with confidence that it's hell a lot better than most mother-daughter relationships.

anyway.

there's just so much to do, and i think i've done quite a lot, especially where college is concerned; but yet it seems like i've not done anything.

kinda like driving real fast without brakes, but heading nowhere. and you may as well blindfold me while we're at it, for i'm totally clueless.

they call my generation the Echo Boomers, but i think i'd feel more at home with the Gen-Xers.

yesterday, i had a small birthday dinner at Chili's, with four close friends: Jing Pei, Laura, Ben and Kah Yan.

as i was getting ready for the dinner it came to mind that i've crossed so many people off my "friends" list, or maybe demoted them to "acquaintance" - and i'm sure a lot of them have crossed me off or demoted me too, and i think that that's a real pity.

again, time is the problem. friends ask you out, but you are either too busy or too exhausted to go. if only we can have more time in a day to finish our assignments, sleep till kingdom come, do what we want to do, eg. listen to music and *then* go out with friends.

after a while, they just stop calling.

and i let it stay that way.

which is why i was pretty much blown away by what Laura said to me yesterday, "isn't it a strange and wonderful thing that on your birthday every year... on that one day, even if we've not seen each other or had any form of real communication for the other 364 days... you'd call, and i'd come."

i told her, and we'd talk and it'd feel as if we've just seen each other yesterday.

i'm sorry if i'm getting too sentimental, but it's true. i've known her for 13 years, and i'm not about to let that go.

i am not afraid to admit that i have a huge defense mechanism, so i'm only attached to very few people. in today's world, can anyone really blame me for being cynical?
the only people i can fully rely on being there for me no matter what are my parents (biological dad not included, sorry), my Aunty June, my grandma, and my two best friends.

it's quite astounding how well Jing Pei and Laura know me. especially Jing Pei. ever seen The Science of Sleep, heard of Parallel Synchronised Randomness? if any two people have it, it's Jing Pei and i.

who else would call a second after she crosses my mind? finish my sentences? have the same sick, somewhat offensive sense of humour?

who else would buy me panties with skulls and guitars with the words, "YOU ROCK!" for my birthday?

i never knew.

2007-07-21T19:36:00.000+08:00

all this while, you've been misunderstood.

heroes suffer that way.

you've gained my respect, prince.

heartache.

2007-07-21T18:28:00.000+08:00

i've waited what seemed to be an eternity ~ and now i finally have it in my hands.

HP 7 - The Deathly Hallows.

but i'm scared to read further.

too many deaths, too many characters that i love... gone.

they all died noble deaths.

tears are streaming down my face, as i mourn for those i've loved, and still love.

rest well, my twin. you'll forever be in my heart.

i'm still alive, btw =)

2007-07-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

jing pei says to update my blog, if not got hantu ady.

currently in her house, sleeping over as we will be going to Kinokuniya, KLCC later for the Harry Potter hype.

WOOT, book 7, i'm so excited!

gawd, her keyboard's void of all letters except for q, v, x, and z so i really don't know how to type loh.

and it's lagging like, THREE SECONDS later than the last alphabet typed (as in, take the word "Harry", for example. H will appear, then three seconds of nothing-ness, then A, then another three seconds, then... you get the idea.).

haih, i tell you guys about it tomorrow lah.

music meme no. 2

2007-05-31T02:22:00.001+08:00

it's dull, having to stay home.

a) First Record Bought:
- The Smashing Pumpkins - Adore.

b) First Concert:
- Linkin Park: Live In Kuala Lumpur, 15th October 2003.

c) Favourite Music Movie:
- Pink Floyd's 'The Wall'. this is kinda by default cos i've only seen a few music movies, so no competition here. Erm, and i like U2's Rattle and Hum.

d) Favourite Music Book:
- Q's Encyclopedia of Rock Stars by Dafydd Rees and Luke Crampton. my daddy bought it for me for my sweet sixteen =)
mY d4ddY R0x0r32!

e) Favourite Songwriter:
- wtf? this question ain't fair! there are just too many.

f) Favourite Producer:
- Rick Rubin!

g) Favourite Record Label:
- it's got to be a tie between SonyBMG and Warner Music, where most rock bands live.

h) Favourite Magazine:
- it used to be Revolver, but now it's Q. i think my taste in music more or less matured. all my favourite bands are no longer rookies, they're all established now.

i) Favourite Album Cover:
- gotta be Red Hot Chili Peppers' Blood Sugar Sex Magik.

j) Favourite Teen Idol(s):
- Take That, haha! i still have my old Take That albums... *blushes*

k) Artist Who Broke Your Heart:
- Blink-182. why did they break up, why~??! i remember skipping school with Laura and Freida and just go wild with Blink-182 and The Offspring. those were the days =)

l) Artist You Will Always Believe In:
- Linkin Park, The Smashing Pumpkins.

m) Singers Who Makes Your Skin Crawl:
- Sanjaya Malakar of American Idol 6 *shudder*, Hilary Duff, Shania Twain... the list goes on, but i don't want to bore you.

n) Singers Who Makes You Swoon:
- Chester Bennington, Anthony Kiedis, Billy Corgan, Brandon Boyd, Michael Hutchence, Rob Thomas, Daniel Johns.

o) Favourite Sound:
- don't really understand this question, but erm, Gwen Stefani's "POOOOW!" in Hella Good.

p) Album You Will Always Defend:
- i 'm not gonna feel inclined to argue about matters of personal taste ANYMORE. what they think don't detract from my enjoyment of listening to it.

q) Album You Own That No One Else Does:
- i wouldn't say no one else, but definitely no one i know - Lady Mercedes.

r) Classic Album You Own but Don't Like:
- there isn't one.

s) Artist You're Supposed to Like but Don't:
- Creed.

t) Song You Can't Stand by an Artist You Like:
- Placebo's My Sweet Prince.

u) Bands That Should Break Up:
- Jethro Tull. like what Kurt Cobain said, it's better to burn out than to fade away. if your work of the past eight years consist of two live albums and one Christmas album, just let it go!

v) Bands That Should Re-form:
- The Verve, Blink-182, Stone Temple Pilots. and i know No Doubt is still together, but it's about time they make a new album.

w) Guilty Pleasure:
- Robbie Williams, hee. he's H-A-W-T.

x) Favourite Music DVD:
- Linkin Park's Frat Party At The Pankake Festival.

y) Concerts You Wish You'd Seen:
- AC/DC at the Monsters of Rock Festival, 22 August 1981.
- Queen Live In Wembley Stadium UK, 12 July 1986.
- Nirvana Live at Reading Festival UK, 30 August 1992.
- U2 Go Home: Live at Slane Castle, Dublin, Ireland, 25 August 2001.
- Red Hot Chili Peppers Live In Hyde Park 19-25 June 2004.

z) Dream Collaborations:
- U2 + Eric Clapton, Jimmy Page and Jeff Beck
- Incubus + Zach de la Rocha
- RHCP + Grandmaster Flash
- RHCP + Jamiroquai
- Rage Against The Machine vs. Audioslave, hoho! (Tom Morello, Brad Wilk, and Tim Commerford can be band-whores)

d'you really care what happens in me life?

2007-05-29T14:08:00.000+08:00

day two of semester four, and where am i?

home! and i'll be home tomorrow. tutorials only start in week 2. so much for getting myself assimilated full-on the "student-mode" when it still feels like the holidays, cheh.

and i swore that i'd turn over a new leaf. mum says if i actually take a moment to study i'd get a 4.0 cgpa. then again, she is my mum. mothers always think the world of their children, regardless. back to studying - i know i should, i've said that i would, but i've never done it before.

it's not like i don't want to. it's just that, i need a surge of inspiration from somewhere, someone! it is not my fault that we always have such a slow start in the beginning of each term. and this... selamba-ness more or less tuned my sense of urgency down to zero. but there's nothing to tutor when we've not had our lectures and notes yet, is there? ah, it's a vicious cycle.

i know, i know - you'll say that these are merely excuses. meh.

someone please come give me a kick in the arse to get my engines running.

on a much happier note, we have Mr. Boon for SIX hours every week! okay, make that five, cos he's almost always twenty minutes late, haha. but we have Mr. Boon, yay! previously, Mr. Boon tutored us for Mass Media Law. he is by far the smartest, most interesting tutor that i've had. the things that he'd say are astounding. hailing from Ipoh, he's a Bachelor in Philosophy, he's a law graduate with second upper class honours; he listens to Rage Against the Machine, Nirvana and Elliott Smith; has an interest in the works of Che Guevara... no, i'm not stalking him. he told me when he drove Ben, Zheng Guan and i out for lunch together, two semesters back. and being an aspiring journalist, i have the license to pry.

this semester, he'll be lecturing and tutoring all of us for Malaysian Constitutional Framework and Politics. he'll also be tutoring A1 (my tutorial group) for Malaysian National Goals and Programmes. i'm glad that it isn't Ms. Neoh. thank goodness i'm not in A2. she's really smart too; but alas, she's not very interesting.

also, we have a new journalism teacher. *erhem*.
i'd better not dwell into that topic here.

cyberspace is no longer safe!

*pupils divert themselves left and right frantically*

there are spies everywhere.

hoho, Neil Gaiman's Fragile Things + Tori Amos' Strange Little Girls = bliss.

you know, i can't imagine life without books. or stop to wonder how people can live without reading. once, i was in an aunt's house, visiting. anyway, i had to use the loo. maybe this is too much information, but to cut the long story short, i just couldn't go without reading something.

i wounded up reading the instructions and ingredients off the toiletries.

i'm in my second year already?!

2007-05-23T21:20:00.000+08:00

right, the angst is well on its way.

already i'm feeling intellectually starved, but no, my week seems to be getting worse. currently , i'm up to my neck with various activities and responsibilities. i will not go deep into what they are; it makes me shudder to even think about the daunting tasks set before me.

i've been working with a lot of airheads lately (i'm not saying that i'm exceptionally bright, but hey!), so that's driving me crazy too. my only solace is thinking up extremely sarcastic replies to their stupid questions, suggestions and remarks.

damn, if only i had been mean enough to actually say them out loud. i'm such a nice person XD

but i doubt that they would understand sarcasm, not even if it came and hit them in the face. i remember telling this girl once that she has the face of a hand-model (couldn't help it, she was acting all cutesy).

she actually lit up, smiled, and said thank you.

just found out today that a fugly, candid shot of me has been circulating around campus on the frontpage of an issue of TARC's beritakampus for a while now. this is so mortifying.

today was also the second day of orientation for my journalism juniors. i feel so old. i enjoyed seeing my juniors, but boy, were they quiet or were they quiet? no doubt thinking that us seniors are a bunch of jokers. i winced every time one of us cracked some lame-ass joke. not to mention that we were so bloody unorganized. and we couldn't stop cursing, shit. talk about giving a "good" first impression.

there was also this one particular junior (didn't get his name, i'm kinda hopeless at remembering chinese names) who annoyed the hell out of me. his answer to why he's in journalism? "I'm in journalism for the same reasons why you *points to all of us seniors in front* are all here."

how presumptious of him! not being petty, but i hate it when people think that they know what i'm all about. so i asked, "What if i tell you now, that i'm here because i lack direction and i don't know what to do?"

but hell, i am gonna be a big-ass rock journalist if it kills me.

to add insult to injury, Deleilah and i were wearing the same black top. i'm not vain (at least not as vain as Ben), i've even turned up in college once wearing pyjamas (long story, but it doesn't really sound that bad since it was a Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt), but i do have limits. turning up in the same top is pushing the limits.

sorry for all the whining. it's not all bad. all i need, really, is a decent conversation. it's been a long time since i've had one.

i also need to write a decent piece that i'll actually be satisfied with. it has never happened, that. i've never been thoroughly happy with my own writing before.

until then, Neil Gaiman and Chuck Palahniuk are both here to keep me contented. so what if the stories are the same? the words are still wonderful, regardless of the number of times that i've read them.

that's the beauty of writing. i believe that if, when you've written something that is genuinely good, you have the power to whisk your readers away to wherever you want. if it is genuinely good, it remains timeless. and you'll always have the comfort of knowing that, god forbid, if anything bad should happen, or things are falling apart around you, at least you'd still have your story.

and that is why i love writing, that is why i'm in journalism.

WOOT!

2007-05-18T16:01:00.000+08:00

my uncle jack got me Linkin Park's Minutes to Midnight CD/DVD Special Edition!

i really don't mean to brag, but i'm happy =)

it was just a few days ago that he got me a ton of Biohazard, Fear Factory, Metallica and Sepultura CDs. and there has always been the random Modest Mouse, Eagles of Death Metal, The Byrds, etc. every now and then for as long as i can remember.

i'm like, the luckiest girl in the world.

6 weird things about me

2007-05-18T02:09:00.000+08:00

i've been tagged by JE =) here's how it goes:-

List down six weird things about yourself. Then tag six other people.

1) i play my own soundtrack in my head as i go along with things, especially when i'm walking.
yes, it's true, i have my very own soundtrack to my everyday life, played in my own head. contrary to popular belief, i'm not deaf; this is the real reason why you'd have to yell at me a dozen times before i'd actually hear you calling from afar. it's quite a bad thing, because i'd sort of disconnect from the real world. what song i play in my head, depends on my mood and what i'm doing at the time; but popular tunes when i'm walking include Genesis' I Can't Dance, Oasis' The Hindu Times, Smashmouth's Walking On The Sun and Scissor Sisters' Filthy/Gorgeous. XD

2) i concentrate on the works of just one particular author at a time.
once i've decided that i like the works of a particular person, i'll just read his or her stuff until i've gone through everything that they've written thus far, before i move on to another author. and the books have got to be uniformed, or in sets. for example, if my first novel by Neil Gaiman was published by Review, then the rest of his books that i buy after that would have to be the ones published by Review too, even if they're not a series.

3) i'm attracted to older men. way older men.
Chester Bennington, 31. okay, so that's not very old. but wait. Edward Norton, 38. no, that's not very old either. but it goes on. John Cusack, 41. Robert Downey Jr., 42. Johnny Depp, 44. Anthony Keidis, 45. Hugh Laurie, 48. Gary Oldman, 49. Anthony Bourdain, 51. Ray Liotta, 53. Richard Gere, 58. Christopher Walken, 64. i'm 18. i rest my case.

4) i loved Sesame St. when i was a kid, and i still watch it sometimes if i happen to catch it on telly.
heehee, Sesame St., a place where people and muppets co-exist. remember Bert & Ernie? i always feel sorry for Bert, but Ernie's stupidity was pretty funny, no? and the adorable Elmo, who doesn't love Elmo?
my favourite muppet is Oscar the Grouch, with his pet worm Slimey (it's bright orange!), his pet elephant Fluffy (only it's trunk was ever shown) and his girlfriend, Grungetta. i like him because he's seems to be a grumpy, anti-social grouch on the surface, his catchphrase being, "Go away and LEAVE ME ALONE! And stay away from my cheese!" and "HEY YOU! WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY?!" but he's really a softie at heart. he reads to his pet worm sometimes.
Count von Count is another favourite of mine, with that maniacal laugh of his that's always followed by roaring thunder and flashes of lightning everytime he has managed to count something. "When I'm alone, I count myself. One Count. AH HA HA HA HA HA!" plus, he's popular with the ladies. he's got like, what, more than four girlfriends?
i remember trying to eat cookies like the Cookie Monster, "Me want cookies. AWW-num-num-num-num...". only to end up choking.
but i hate Big Bird. he's just too big. uncannily big. no bird should be that big. and yellow. *shudders*.
i used to be afraid of Frazzle too, because i used to think that he looked scary, but now i think that he's cool. Google him and you'll see what i mean =)

my inner child is fighting to get out.

5) sometimes i'd go to Central Market and/or Petaling Street to pretend that i'm a tourist from out of town.
i'd pick those people whom i know will most probably be frightened, sceptical that i'm up to something or annoyed when i approach them for directions. i'd normally attack the ladies because of this, men are generally more open. and if i think that the person can't speak English, i'll ask for my directions in English. if i feel like she can't speak Chinese, i'll ask in Chinese. how evil is that? heh heh. okay, i guess this one's the weirdest one, huh? i just think that it's kinda funny and amusing. maybe we can do it together someday.

6) i can manipulate my dreams, and pick up where i left off the night before.
so this explains why i like sleeping so much. i can sleep for 16 hours in one sitting. when i'm asleep, i'm in my own fantasy world; i can be wherever i want to be, with whomever i want to be, be whoever i want to be and do whatever i want to do. i'd dream that i'm Polly, and that i'm in Nowhere with Tom, or sneaking back to Now Here and create tall-tales that'll come true. i'd dream that i'm Lyra, in Oxford, or adventuring somewhere with Will and sometimes maybe with Iorek. i'd dream that i'm a student at Hogwarts, part of Dumbledore's Army, then joining the Order of the Phoenix. i'd dream that i'm a Homeward Bounder, cursed to walk the worlds forevermore, meeting strange folk. i'd dream that i have nine lives, like Chrestomanci. i'd dream that i'm one of the elves in Middle Earth at the dawn of the Fourth Age, leaving from the Grey Havens to Valinor, our ancient powers doomed to diminish and fade away after the One Ring was destroyed. i'd dream that i've found my very own psammead or amulet, and i could travel back in time to see history in the making. i'd dream that Loki is my friend, we'd go on and play pranks on Odin and get away with it. i'd dream that i'm chasing my heart's desire, although i still don't know what my heart desires. i'd dream... i'd dream a lot of wonderful things.

heck, i've once dreamt that i pogo-ed from the 87th floor balcony to the ground below, emerging unscathed.

and i tag, not six more, but everyone on my family and friends blogroll.

PS. does anyone remember cartoons like Yogi Bear, Wacky Races, Dick Dastardly & Muttley, Felix The Cat, Jonny Quest, Asterix & Obelix and/or Captain Planet?

Linkin Park - Minutes to Midnight

2007-05-16T14:57:00.000+08:00

a track-by-track review by Rachel Lau

i've just gotten this album sometime yesterday evening, and i've already listened to it for more than ten times. a little over 43 minutes, this is their longest album yet. after a four-year wait, here's what i think of it.

01) Wake
an intro, it opens with the sound of a needle going down onto a vinyl record, with lots of crackling. starts slow, but it quickly gets louder. you can hear scratching, but barely. there's nothing hip-hop to it, which i like. it's not like the short Meteora intro, this one is more of an instrumental piece like Session, but i find it way too short. it would have been great if it was longer. unlike Cure For The Itch and Session, which were both all about drums and sampling, this one is very guitar-driven; so neither Joe Hahn's sampling techniques nor Rob Bourdon's drumming skills shined through. Brad Delson did really well though. and i like the dual-meaning of the track title.
6/10

02) Given Up
opens with people clapping and keys jingling, which is fun. it suits the song well even though it's such a heavy track. the bass has a heavy, industrial-rock riff; while the drums have a quick, punk-rock beat. the tune of the first line reminds me of Chester Bennington's The Morning After. Chester's voice sounds slightly deeper than usual, with a slight growl at the start of each verse. i don't fancy the cursing in the last line of the chorus (a first in the history of Linkin Park), because
a) it's been edited out in mine (and that's just annoying),
b) frankly, i don't think cursing is their style. none of their previous albums (unless you count Fort Minor) have explicit lyrics in them, it feels as though a three-year-old has accidently picked the word up, and
c) one of the reasons why i love LP is because they take the time to express themselves instead of substituting their feelings with "FUCK!". but anyway.
this song has an obvious Linkin Park trademark, even though there's no rapping. love the screaming, especially the uber-long one towards the end, brings me back to the Hybrid Theory days.

03) Leave Out All The Rest
the first ballad of the album, it starts slow, moody yet tranquil, with a poppy yet electronic-based feel to it. it is very bass-driven, with strings in the back; the guitar is prominent only during the chorus. Chester's vocals are excellent. i like this song, although i find the ending quite abrupt, so that's a little potong stim. lyrically, it's one of their best; there's a follow-up here to the themes touched in Meteora; it sort of tells you what happens after, a progress, of the person who had gone through the emotions felt in songs like Lying From You, Faint, Breaking The Habit and Nobody's Listening. kinda like the next phase, if you like. this song shows how much they've matured over the years. the last line in the last verse, "I've never been perfect but neither have you", could also be a reference to Numb's "You were just like me with someone disappointed in you". with a great sing-along chorus, it is radio-friendly, and it's bound to be a concert favourite.
a very meaningful song that a lot of people would be able to relate to. i'd like to have this song played at my funeral.

04) Bleed It Out
Bleed It Out is the first song of the album that has Mike Shinoda rapping again, with infectious Motown drumbeats and '80s rock guitar. again, i don't like the cursing, maybe i'll change my mind once i've managed to get an uncensored version; but the rap-rock verses, the screaming chorus and the infectious hooks brings us back to the good old Hybrid Theory days. the rap verses are very in-your-face, along the lines of Step Up and High Voltage; while the screaming chorus is a little like Runaway. there's definitely a reference to In The End, "Doesn't matter how hard I try". a fun track, tailored for concert rock-outs.

05) Shadows Of The Day
the most melodic song on the album, this one has another sweeping, backward loop throughout the entire song ala Somewhere I Belong, this time on keyboards; and strings in the background ala Breaking The Habit. i love the slow build up, from an almost bare, vocals only start to such great musical harmonies. the bass and drums are borderlining dance; but that's alright because it has great percussions and a very steady beat... slow and simple, calm and contented. female fans, like me, who can't get enough of Chester will swoon. another radio-friendly song, a definite hit. there's a sort of interlude at the end of this track that blends into the opening of What I've Done very nicely.

06) What I've Done
hey, it's already a No. 1 hit, so that speaks for itself. though i've realised that the guitar solos in this track and in Shadows Of The Day are very similar. the complex beats of the synth-drums deserves a mention! go Rob! and i hear scratching before the chorus! go Joe! i think Mike's backing vocals really compliment Chester's singing. the artwork in the liner notes for this song is really cool, it features a distorted, mutated version of Chester.

07) Hands Held High
more cursing, geez. everytime there's a sudden blank in the track, i feel a twang of annoyance; for it gives me the feeling that i've gone deaf for a second. it's too much like Fort Minor, but this is the only other track with rapping, so all in all i'm cool with it. a little self-indulgent, for i feel like i've heard it all before on Fort Minor's The Rising Tied, but i can tell that it means a lot to Mike. i do like the music, it's very melodic yet contrasting, with a play between the soft, haunting pipe organ and the hard, no-nonsense marching snare. it's my least favourite track of the album though. the lyrics are cynical, ironic and political, mostly about the war in Iraq, and it disses Bush in a really cool manner, "A leader so nervous in an obvious way, stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay, and the rest of the world watching at the end of the day, in their living room laughing like, "What did he say?" ". there's also a serene, gospel choir singing "Amen" throughout, which adds a lot to the irony. my favourite part is the last bit where Mike sang and Chester came in with backing vocals - melancholy, yet sounding somewhat hopeful, "With hands held high into a sky so blue, as the ocean opens up to swallow you." lighters out, people.

08) No More Sorrow
heaviest song on the album, the heaviest Linkin Park song thus far. great guitar riffs, very heavy, the ebow sounds really cool. Brad must've felt like a guitar god playing it. love the double-bass drumming and the snares, it shows how good a drummer Rob is. there's a short clapping similar to Given Up and Bleed It Out, so it fits into this ballad-dominant album really well. the anger in the lyrics make you realise that it's still Linkin Park after all. Chester out-screamed even himself, which is saying a lot. very emo vocals. screaming "Thieves and Hypocrites!" along with Chester gave, and still gives, me a sense of well-being. the beats and the vocals steadily gets louder and harder and faster, till it ends kind of abruptly, leaving you wanting for more.

09) Valentine's Day
probably the closest Linkin Park will ever come to a love song, and i like it. the other one was With You, remember? dark, twisted and possesive? this one is sad, regretful and melancholic. very 'as-matter-of-fact'. it starts out a little bit like a pop ballad at first, but the rock chorus quickly reassures you otherwise.

10) In Between
another piece of Linkin Park history, for this is the very first track that features Mike on lead vocals. it's sweet, simple and peaceful. this song is very raw, with rough vocals and grainy drumbeats. very different from their normally highly-constructed, ProTools-driven, complicated-40-separate-tracks-per-song sound. Mike sounds quite good, (and Mike Shinoda fans, eg. Lim Jing Pei, will kill me for this) but his vocals are nowhere near Chester's, whom i reckon would have made it sound way better. it also lacks participation from the rest of the band, i can only hear the bass and nothing much of anything else. but the lyrics are "regretful" and very moving, so that makes it quite a good song nonetheless.

11) In Pieces
ah, another raw track with rough vocals, and this time it works really well, for it's Chester back behind the mic. it makes a great break-up song, haha. i love this song... again, complex drumbeats could be heard, powerful bass, haunting piano, heavily distorted guitars... the mini guitar solo! the guitar solo! THE GUITAR SOLO! i love the guitar solo! who knew Brad could play so awesomely? and again, this song really shows how much they've matured, and it shows how much they've improved as musicians.

12) The Little Things Give You Away
third bit of Linkin Park history, there's an acoustic guitar in the mix! yup, you've heard right. and it sounds really good, too. very melodic. The Little Things Give You Away has been the most hyped about song of the album, and yes, it does the hype justice. clocking in at six minutes and a half, it's the longest Linkin Park song ever. it's not a heavy rock track, but it is of epic porportions . there's a bit of sampling at the beginning that's a little like the opening of From The Inside. this song brings you to a totally different level, a different state of mind. hell, it puts Linkin Park on a totally different level. AWESOME bass, kudos to Phoenix; and to Brad too, love the guitars, i'm beginning to fall in love with Brad. i also like Rob's drum pattern a lot. Chester's vocals are mind-blowing in this song, he definitely nailed it in this one. his voice soars, it towers above the music; it is excellent, simply gargantuan. he is definitely one of the best (if not the best) and most versatile rock singers of today. the song eventually leads to a duet, and the vocal harmonies between Chester and Mike at the end are heavenly. they sound even better on headphones, where you can hear Mike singing "The little things give you away" into your right ear, and Chester singing "All you've ever wanted was someone to truly look up to you" simultaneously into your left; while Chester continues to hit the high notes on the main track.

overall, i really like this album; it's different, it's progressive. and i think Linkin Park is very smart, cos all the songs will no doubt be perfect for concerts. in a way, i do miss the old Hybrid Theory days. but hey, we've all got to move on, and not dwell in one place forever. it's been seven years, they've grown up and matured, and so have i; many things had happened in between. i've not been in the same state of mind that i've been seven years ago. anyone that still is, needs help.
for those who still reminisce in the 'good old days' of Hybrid Theory, i do understand, but i suggest you suck it up, and grow up.

PS. buy (hopefully), beg, steal, borrow, download, rip - i don't really care how you do it, but do listen to Given Up, Shadows Of The Day, No More Sorrow, In Pieces and most of all, The Little Things Give You Away.

oh no, it's another filler!

2007-05-15T13:26:00.000+08:00

greetings =)

How Malaysian Are You?
Answer these questions, and no cheating!

1) How much is satu kupang?
- 10 cents.

2) Where's the favourite spot to take wedding pictures in Taiping?
- dunno, Taiping Lake Gardens?

3) In what dialect is "Apo Nak Di Kato?" spoken in?
- Kedah, i think. or Negeri Sembilan.

4) Name at least five variations of roti canai.
a) Roti Telur
b) Roti Planta
c) Roti Tisu
d) Roti Sardin
e) Roti Bawang

5) What is the staple food of native Sarawakians?
- i'm gonna be a cynic and say starch. but the real answer's sago. i'm trying desperately to forget the things i've learnt in Geography, but it seems that they're still in my head. so traumatising.

6) Name a popular Malay ointment made from sea-cucumber.
- Minyak Gamat. i've been to a factory that makes it in Langkawi.

7) Name the sauce made from fish or shrimp that the Kelantanese love.
- fermented fish/shrimp sauce lor... Budu, Cincaluk, etc.

8) What does Pi Mai Pi Mai Tang Tu mean?
- i know, cos i'm Peranakan =)
it means "Go here, go there, go here, go there; end up going nowhere". it's a slang and short form of, "Pergi Mari Pergi Mari Tidak Tentu".

9) Which fruit is Ipoh famous for?
- pomelo. they're round they smell good and they float =)

10) What is the English name for Putu Mayam?
- got English equivalent one meh? beats me, can someone tell me?

11) "lah" is to Peninsular Malaysians as "..." is to Sabahans.
- bah (humbug, heehee).

12) What does ABC stand for?
- Ais Batu Campur. but Cendol is better.

13) How long is a sari?
- it's normally about 5 - 6 metres long. but really, it depends on the size of the girl.

14)What does the Cantonese phrase "ngam ngam" means ?
- just right!

15) Name Penang's famous beach.
- Batu Ferringhi. i just got back =)

16) How do you order coffee mixed with tea at a kopi-tiam?.
- CHAM!

17) What's on Malaysian TV at 8pm?
- news.

18) On one side of our RM1 coin is the bunga raya, what's on the other?.
- keris.

19) Now what's on our 10 sen coin?
- congkak.

20) What was the name of the KL Commonwealth Games 1998 mascot?
- Wira the Orang Utan.

21) When you fill in a form, if you're not Malay, Chinese or Indian, you are..
- Lain-lain.

22) Who is Malaysia's favourite Kampung Boy?
- Lat!

23) How did the word "gostan" came about?
- from 'go astern' larh. trust us to mash it up together and warp it =)

24) Lobo's "Whispers in the Wind" is the English version of which famous Malay song?
- Tan Sri P. Ramlee's Getaran Jiwa. isn't that cool?

25) When did Malaysia last win the Thomas Cup?
- the last was in 1992. we won the first cup ever in the late 1940s, then two more consecutively, and then again in 1967.

26) What is the name of our national flag?
- Jalur Gemilang.

27) If you want 4D numbers, who do you consult?
- ancestors' graves, that red book with pictures of stuff that has numbers to go with them, that ugly fish that's supposed to have numbers on it, bomohs, etc.

28) What's the name of the Malaysian-made 175cc motorbike?
- Modenas or Jaguh. i dunno what cc is which.

29) Name our national bird.
- last i've heard, it's the Rhinocerous Hornbill from Sarawak. always change one.

30) If the father is a baba, and the mother is a nyonya, then what is the son?
- a Peranakan.

music meme no. 1

2007-05-03T20:28:00.002+08:00

after a double movie memes post, i've got to have a music meme!

heh, sorry. this is strictly self-indulgent (plus, it's the hols!), you don't have to read it if you don't want to.
but if you are going to read it, take note that the answers are at the time of writing, they might be very different if you ask me again tomorrow.

Name your top 10 most played bands on iTunes (Or MediaPlayer):

01. Red Hot Chili Peppers
02. The Smashing Pumpkins
03. Linkin Park
04. Placebo
05. Incubus
06. KoRn
07. Green Day
08. Snow Patrol
09. AC/DC
10. Black Sabbath

(^^ their positions tend to alternate between one another ^^)

01) Favorite video by 3 (Linkin Park)?
- definitely Faint. directed by the legendary Mark Romanek, with bold silhouettes, heavy and dynamic backlighting, die-hard fans and that steady build-up of suspense to that very last minute where the band's front profiles were finally revealed... the energy of the entire video is meteoric. fuh!

02) What was the first song you ever heard by 6 (KoRn)?
- Freak On A Leash. heard the scatting bit by Jon Davis and fell in love immediately.

03) Why do you like 2 (Smashing Pumpkins)?
- because i can relate. right now, i'm in a place where Billy Corgan was when he wrote Mellon Collie. they make me feel calm and carefree when i listen to their softer tracks, and the harder ones help me vent. i especially like Mellon Collie now because the tracks are raw, and they sound genuine. before, Adore was pretty much my lifeline. for a person my age, i have been through a lot, what with my grandmother's passing, and constant abuse from my fucking stepmother in the past. Adore will always have a special place in my heart.

04) What is your favorite album of 3 (Linkin Park)?
- Hybrid Theory. because it's the first one, and because it got me through a difficult period; back when i felt alienated, depressed, angry at everything and pissed off with everyone. listening to Hybrid Theory gave me the comfort of knowing that i'm not alone. sounds corny, but i'm one who gets moved by music and it basically saved my life.

05) What is your favorite lyric that 5 (Incubus) has sung?
damn, what a tough choice to make! it's between "...and my pen is a pistola~!" from the chorus of Pistola and the opening of Out From Under, "To resist is to piss in the wind, those who do will end up smelling."

06) What is your favorite cover by 4 (Placebo)?
- Pixies' Where Is My Mind?, with Black Francis himself!

07) What is your favorite song by 7 (Green Day)?
- Hitchin' A Ride from 1997's Nimrod. the beat in this song is fucking awesome; the bass kicks ass, and the guitar rocks! the uber-gilaa guitar distortions after Billy Joe yelled "SHIIIIT!" was mind-blowing. and i love the last line of the chorus, "I'm off the wagon and i'm hitchin' a ride."
TAKE THAT, bandwagon jumpers!

08) Favorite video by 1 (Red Hot Chili Peppers)?
- Can't Stop. it's so random, so abstract, so artistic. love the 'One Minute Sculptures'. and the hippo costume somewhere in it reminds me of Edward Norton's rhino in Death to Smoochy.

09) What is a good memory you have involving 9 (AC/DC)?
- blasting Big Balls through the PA system in one of my college's lecture halls right after class and singing along, with all the lala people staring as they leave.

10) Is there a song of 2 (The Smashing Pumpkins) that makes you sad?
- lots of songs by The Smashing Pumpkins make me sad. i'll choose one at random... 1979. to me, 1979 portrays the ideal conception of what it's like being a teenager; it makes me think of my life lived (thus far), the choices that i've made, both right and wrong; and what i have in store. it makes me think of lost friends and lost loves; it makes me sad that i'm growing up.
i think i have quite a strong case of The Peter Pan Syndrome.

(my favourite song is For Martha. but i will not tear it apart by being analytical, it's too beautiful)

11) What is your favorite lyric that 3 (Linkin Park) has sung?
- the entire lyrics of By Myself, especially "If i'm killed by the questions like a cancer, then i'll be buried by the silence of the answer."

12) How did you get into 2 (The Smashing Pumpkins)?
- i bought it blindly. i like the cover art.

13) What was the first song you heard by 1 (Red Hot Chili Peppers)?
- Under the Bridge, throughout my childhood, over the radio. it's a classic, man.

14) What is your favorite song by 4 (Placebo)?
- The Bitter End. like, wahlau, damn power. and i love the video.

15) What is a good memory you have involving 3 (Linkin Park)?
- Linkin Park: Live In Kuala Lumpur, 15th October 2003. 'nuff said.

16) Is there a song of 8 (Snow Patrol) that makes you sad?
- Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking, what with the empty threats and the desperation to hold on:-

"...Every second, dripping off my fingertips.
I could do most anything to you.
Wage your war, wage your war.
I could do most anything to you."

it's one of the most beautiful and haunting songs i know.

17) What is your favorite album of 5 (Incubus)?
- gotta be S.C.I.E.N.C.E !!!

18) What is your favorite opening lyric that 2 (The Smashing Pumpkins) has sung?
- how to decide? can i pick two?

"The world is a vampire, sent to drain." - Bullet with Butterfly Wings.
"I fear that I am ordinary, just like everyone." - Muzzle.

19) What is your favorite song of 1 (Red Hot Chili Peppers)?
- what the hell, i can't simply just pick one. i'm gonna name ten:

Can't Stop
Suck My Kiss
Give It Away
Police Helicopter
Taste The Pain
Johnny, Kick A Hole In The Sky
I Like Dirt
Get On Top
Road Trippin'
Mellowship Slinky in B Major

20) Why do you like 8 (Snow Patrol)?
- what can i say, i'm beginning to think that i actually like feeling depressed and misunderstood. Snow Patrol gives off the vibe of losing hope. their songs are melodic and the lyrics are intelligent and thought-provoking.

21) How did you get into 4 (Placebo)?
- Every You, Every Me was the opening theme for Cruel Intentions. one of the best teen movies, with a great soundtrack. the film introduced me to Placebo, The Verve, Skunk Anansie, Garbage and The Manic Street Preachers. that was back in 1999, i think.

22) Is there a song of 3 (Linkin Park) that makes you sad?
- Breaking the Habit. i don't know how to explain it, because i don't think my words would do it justice. but if you've had a long, exhausting day, and you feel sad and weary, try this - after taking a long shower, turn off all the lights, put Breaking the Habit on play, close your eyes... and listen.

23) Why do you like 1 (Red Hot Chili Peppers)?
- it's funk, baby! tell me you don't love funk, and i'll shoot you. the Red Hots make me happy =)

24) What was the first song you ever heard by 4 (Placebo)?
- Every You Every Me. see Question 21^^

25) What is a great memory you have considering 10 (Black Sabbath)?
- singing War Pigs at 10 a.m, all tipsy and giggly from morning beer (was at the 7/11 near campus, and they ran out of Milo). someone actually recorded it, shit.

26) What is your favorite album by 6 (Green Day)?
- Dookie, of course! no one should ever claim that they are real fans of Green Day unless they've heard, and loved Dookie. it's a punk rock classic!

27) What is your favorite cover by 1 (Red Hot Chili Peppers)?
- Stevie Wonder's Higher Ground.

28) Favorite video by 2 (The Smashing Pumpkins)?
- Ava Adore. it's so twisted and freaky. and Billy Corgan creeped me out. although he kinda cracked me up at the same time cos he looked like Count Orlok (Dracula) in that cult-movie Nosferatu. Then again, i love Thirty-Three's video too. it's so pretty.

29) What is your favorite lyric that 5 (KoRn) has sung?
- takde lah. c'mon, it's not like KoRn is highly intellectual or anything. they're one of my favourite bands because they help me project my anger and i always feel better after. kinda my version of easy listening and/or anger management. my favourite parts have always been the scatting, they mean whatever you want them to mean; and i can always imagine JonDavis convulsing when he scats. and ooh, i like the part where he growled, "Boom, boom, boom, boom." after the opening bit of Y'All Want A Single, and the "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!!!!!!" towards the end. KoRn corrupts the mind, lol!

30) What is your favorite song by 9 (AC/DC)?
- hello, it's AC/DC, how to choose??! here's the top five most played on my iTunes:-

It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll)
Razor's Edge
Walk All Over You
Problem Child
Back in Black

here's to looking stupid

2007-04-19T21:33:00.000+08:00

jing pei and i can get a kick out of just lazing about together staring at the ceiling listening to music and not talking, but cam-whoring sessions are still cherished =)

they say that a picture's worth a thousand words.
i have twelve.

click on it for a larger image!

movie memes!!!

2007-04-13T20:11:00.000+08:00

Double movie memes, back to back =P

Movie Meme No. 1:-

1. Name the movies that you have seen more than 10 times.
Fight Club, Saving Private Ryan, Donnie Darko, High Fidelity, Almost Famous, Taxi Driver, The Untouchables, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, The 51st State, Trainspotting, Velvet Goldmine, The Usual Suspects, Pulp Fiction, True Romance, Silence of the Lambs, Amelie.

2. Name the movies that you’ve seen multiple times in the theater.
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (especially The Two Towers), Frank Miller's 300, Ice Age, Ice Age: The Meltdown.

3. Name the actors that would make you more inclined to see a movie.
Johnny Depp, Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, Jason Statham, Kevin Spacey, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Benicio Del Toro, Ewan McGregor, Bruce Willis, Tom Hanks, Anthony Hopkins, Christopher Walken, Gary Oldman, Samuel L. Jackson, Natalie Portman, Robert Downey Jr., Christian Slater, John Cusack, Tony Leung Chiu Wai, Anthony Wong Chau Sang, Francis Ng Chun Yu, Sean Lau Ching Wan, Nick Cheung Ka Fai.

4. Name the actors that would make you less likely to see a movie.
Rob Schneider, Will Ferrell, Tom Green, Steven Seagal, Thandie Newton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tom Cruise.

5. Name the movies that you can do quotes from.
Fight Club, The Usual Suspects, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (especially Merry & Pippin dialogues), Dude Where's My Car?, This Is Spinal Tap, Almost Famous, American Pie (especially Alyson Hannigan's dialogues).

6. Name the movie musicals that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.
Mary Poppins, Chicago, Grease (almost).

7. Name the movies that you have been known to sing along with.
This Is Spinal Tap!!!! The School of Rock, South Park: Bigger Longer Uncut, The Phantom of the Opera, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Fiddler on the Roof, plus the ones mentioned in Q6 ^^.

8. Name the movies that you would recommend everyone see.
Everything in No. 1, Very Bad Things, American History X, American Beauty, The Shawshank Redemption, Shindler's List, Life Is Beautiful. and, um, Say Anything, hehheh.

9. Name a movie that you own.
just one? i have most of the titles mentioned above, but let's make it random, erm, Monty Python and the Holy Grail!

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.
haha, glad you asked! it's gotta be Jason Lee!
first saw him in Dogma a few years back, which i loved! plus he was in Almost Famous, even though i don't really fancy his character in there. i found out later that he used to be a very prominent pro-skater back in the 80s-90s.
and his TV series 'My Name Is Earl' rocks!

11. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven’t yet gotten around to it.
Garden State, argh. really want to watch this, but there's something wrong with the DVD.

12. Ever walked out of a movie?
The Hulk. crappiest movie that i've ever seen. and i LIKE Eric Bana. nearly walked out of King Kong. Peter Jackson should have just ended it at the part where they are leaving the island.

13. Name a few movies that made you cry.
Leon, Hearts and Souls, The Notebook, Tuesdays with Morrie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Road to Perdition... too many tearjerkers to mention. and then there's Castaway. I cried when Wilson the Volleyball floated away.

14. Movies with the best soundtracks, ever?
Almost Famous:- there's Led Zep, Black Sabbath, The Who, Jethro Tull, Elton John, you name it. and High Fidelity:- Belle & Sebastian, Bruce Springsteen, Velvet Underground, Queen, etc. other movies that qualify would be Detroit Rock City, Dazed and Confused, The School of Rock. not forgetting O Brother, Where Art Thou?

15. Popcorn?
yes please, with caramel =) i don't like salty popcorn.

16. How often do you go to the movies (as opposed to watching them at home)?
once every two weeks. twice a week when it's time for the summer releases.

17. What’s the last movie you saw in the theater?
300 (okay, so it's Stomp the Yard, but that's not a fucking movie).

18. What’s your favorite/preferred genre of movie?
epics ala LOTR, war movies, mob flicks, psychological thrillers and those depressing, thought provoking movies like American Beauty. anything with sex, drugs and rock n' roll; anything weird and kooky. action pun boleh, as long as it's filled with guns, blood and gore.

it'll be easier to name what i don't like:- i don't like chick flicks, i don't like soppy romantic films, i don't like gross-out comedies (but i do enjoy slapstick) and i don't like horror.

19. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
Daylight, starring Sylvester Stallone.

20. What movie do you wish you had never seen?
Stephen King's It.

21. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?
there are four:- The Nightmare Before Christmas, Sp*der (the one with Ralph Fiennes) and Perfume: The Story of the Murderer, and this Korean film called Oldboy.
wait, are movies like Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy, Cool World, The Witches of Eastwick, The Rocky Horror Show, etc. considered weird?

22. What is the scariest movie you’ve seen?
again, it's Stephen King's It.

23. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen?
there are too many to choose from, but i like satires, dark comedies, British comedies, ironic and cynical humour. anything with lots of sarcasm will make my day. Stuff along the lines of Very Bad Things, Lock Stock, Snatch, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Pulp Fiction, The 51st State, etc.

Movie Meme No. 2:-

Italicize the ones you've seen and Bold the ones you actually liked.

1. Titanic (1997) - $600,779,824 (i hate this movie.)
2. Star Wars (1977) - $460,935,665
3. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) - $434,949,459
4. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) - $431,065,444
5. Spider-Man (2002) - $403,706,375
6. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003) - $377,019,252
7. Passion of the Christ, The (2004) - $370,025,697 (i've yet to see this, how n00b can i get, right?)
8. Jurassic Park (1993) - $356,784,000
9. Shrek 2 (2004) - $356,211,000
10. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002) - $340,478,898 (my favourite out of the trilogy)
11. Finding Nemo (2003) - $339,714,367
12. Forrest Gump (1994) - $329,691,196
13. Lion King, The (1994) - $328,423,001
14. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001) - $317,557,891
15. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001) - $313,837,577
16. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) - $310,675,583
17. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983) - $309,125,409
18. Independence Day (1996) - $306,124,059
19. Pirates of the Caribbean (2003) - $305,411,224
20. Sixth Sense, The (1999) - $293,501,675
21. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) - $290,158,751 (w00t~!!!)
22. Home Alone (1990) - $285,761,243
23. Matrix Reloaded, The (2003) - $281,492,479
24. Shrek (2001) - $267,652,016
25. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) - $261,970,615
26. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) - $260,031,035
27. Jaws (1975) - $260,000,000
28. Monsters, Inc. (2001) - $255,870,172
29. Batman (1989) - $251,188,924
30. Men in Black (1997) - $250,147,615
31. Toy Story 2 (1999) - $245,823,397
32. Bruce Almighty (2003) - $242,589,580
33. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) - $242,374,454
34. Twister (1996) - $241,700,000
35. My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) - $241,437,427
36. Ghost Busters (1984) - $238,600,000
37. Beverly Hills Cop (1984) - $234,760,500
38. Cast Away (2000) - $233,630,478
39. Lost World: Jurassic Park, The (1997) - $229,074,524
40. Signs (2002) - $227,965,690
41. Rush Hour 2 (2001) - $226,138,454
42. Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) - $219,200,000
43. Ghost (1990) - $217,631,306
44. Aladdin (1992) - $217,350,219
45. Saving Private Ryan (1998) - $216,119,491
46. Mission: Impossible II (2000) - $215,397,30
47. X2 (2003) - $214,948,780
48. Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) - $213,079,163
49. Back to the Future (1985) - $210,609,762
50. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) - $205,399,422
51. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) - $204,843,350
52. Exorcist, The (1973) - $204,565,000
53. Mummy Returns, The (2001) - $202,007,640
54. Armageddon (1998) - $201,573,391
55. Gone with the Wind (1939) - $198,655,278
56. Pearl Harbor (2001) - $198,539,855
57. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) - $197,171,806
58. Toy Story (1995) - $191,800,000
59. Men in Black II (2002) - $190,418,803
60. Gladiator (2000) - $187,670,866
61. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) - $184,925,485
62. Dances with Wolves (1990) - $184,208,848
63. Batman Forever (1995) - $184,031,112
64. Fugitive, The (1993) - $183,875,760
65. Ocean's Eleven (2001) - $183,405,771
66. What Women Want (2000) - $182,805,123
67. Perfect Storm, The (2000) - $182,618,434
68. Liar Liar (1997) - $181,395,380
69. Grease (1978) - $181,360,000
70. Jurassic Park III (2001) - $181,166,115
71. Mission: Impossible (1996) - $180,965,237
72. Planet of the Apes (2001) - $180,011,740
73. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) - $179,870,271
74. Pretty Woman (1990) - $178,406,268
75. Tootsie (1982) - $177,200,000
76. Top Gun (1986) - $176,781,728
77. There's Something About Mary (1998) - $176,483,808 (gross.)
78. Ice Age (2002) - $176,387,405
79. Crocodile Dundee (1986) - $174,635,000
80. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) - $173,585,516
81. Elf (2003) - $173,381,405
82. Air Force One (1997) - $172,888,056
83. Rain Man (1988) - $172,825,435
84. Apollo 13 (1995) - $172,071,312
85. Matrix, The (1999) - $171,383,253
86. Beauty and the Beast (1991) - $171,301,428
87. Tarzan (1999) - $171,085,177
88. Beautiful Mind, A (2001) - $170,708,996
89. Chicago (2002) - $170,684,505
90. Three Men and a Baby (1987) - $167,780,960
91. Meet the Parents (2000) - $166,225,040
92. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) - $165,500,000
93. Hannibal (2001) - $165,091,464
94. Catch Me If You Can (2002) - $164,435,221
95. Big Daddy (1999) - $163,479,795
96. Sound of Music, The (1965) - $163,214,286
97. Batman Returns (1992) - $162,831,698
98. Bug's Life, A (1998) - $162,792,677
99. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) - $161,963,000
100. Waterboy, The (1998) - $161,487,252

and i tag:- anyone who is bored as is in need of something to do.

of chester bennington, the phantom of the opera, the red hots and other random things

2007-04-10T18:10:00.000+08:00

hullo people~! currently in a good mood, i've gotten all my assignments done, and after tomorrow's presentation, i'd be officially free! with The Smashing Pumpkins' Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness set on play at this moment of writing, am feeling light and carefree for the first time since the start of semester 3.

anyway, i was at the Linkin Park - Minutes to Midnight Pre-sale at Tower Records KLCC last Wednesday. Chester Bennington was there to officiate the event =) i had to work overtime to finish a particular assignment just so that i can pass it up on Tuesday, since the deadline was on that particular Wednesday as well.

older posts will show how much of a Linkin Park freak i am.
i remember going around telling everyone i'm Mrs. Bennington.
yes, that's lame, i know. hey, gimme a break, i was 12!
i'm now the 'luh-vah'.
yeah, i'm still obsessed with Chester.

heck, my dog's named Chester, just so that i have a Chester of my own.
go ahead, tease me about it.

but it's not as bad as it used to be, i've made some progress after all these years; i'm now obsessed with Anthony Kiedis, Billy Corgan and Brandon Boyd as well XD
and oh, how i wish Michael Hutchence is still here with us today...

so really, it was to no one's surprise that i got tremendously excited when LPU announced that Chazy Chaz himself will be coming to KL on the 4th of April, making Malaysia the first country in the world to be able to get the album. Malaysia has always been high on LP's priority list, we have the highest albums sales here, out of the entire Asia.

it was such a dream that i got to go up to him, tell him how much i love his music, hug him AND shake his hand.

i got three of my albums signed, yay me!
i had to line up three times, since the label and security had this one item policy.
i know it seems kinda greedy, but i couldn't help it =P

first time i went up to him, i was the fifth person in line, thanks to my uncle's connections with Warner Music, hee.
that was when i told Chester how much i loved his voice and their music. he smiled warmly, and he said that he appreciates it.
that was when i got Hybrid Theory signed.

second time around, i got this dude to give me his pass. don't ask me how i did it, i'm not quite sure myself. no, there wasn't any money or sex involved. i got a number 87 pass =)
when i got in, Chester looked up, stared, grinned and said, "You again?"
i told him that i just paid someone a hundred bucks to get in (which is bullshit, by the way), so can i please have a hug?
and he got half-way off his seat and he hugged me! i kinda swooned, and i think i hurt him a little when i hugged him too hard and my spike bracelet dug into his back. whoops.
and that was when i got Meteora signed.

after that, he announced that he'll stay until everyone in line got their stuff signed, or until he has to leave to catch his flight to Japan, whichever comes first.
so i lined up again with Jing Pei (she came with me; Ziwen, Zheng, Ben and Nic were also there), amongst throngs and throngs of other fans.
as i approached the counter, he looked up and broke into an amused grin.
i grinned sheepishly, and said, "Deja vu?"
he laughed. i wanted to shake his hand, so i extended my left hand, since he's a leftie like me =P
he had his right hand halfway out when he realised that i had my left hand out, chuckled, put down the marker he was holding and we had a lefties' handshake, w00t!
it was a very firm and warm handshake.
and that was when i got Reanimation signed.

anticipating the new album's release, man.

right, enough gushing for now =)

after the signing, Jing Pei and i went for drinks, gallivanted for a bit and had a cam-whoring session (again). we took a lot of zany photos. i'd love to post them here, but she'll kill me. here's a 'decent' shot, but i think the weird ones are nicer. it was 10pm by the time she dropped me off back home. all in all, it was a tiring day; but it was fun!

went for The Phantom of the Opera at the Esplanade Mall, Singapore during the weekend. the show was great, especially the set. as expected, i didn't like the characters Christine Daae and Raoul de Changy. i remember how annoying i found them to be back when we studied The Phantom back in school... the Phantom and the Persian have always been my favourites.

talking about the Persian, they eliminated him from the entire story! ish. it's sad really, cos he's cool.
it was definitely one of the better plays that i've been to so far, but my favourite's still Chang & Eng.

also took the opportunity to visit HMV while i was there. i've finally managed to get RHCP's The Red Hot Chili Peppers and The Uplift Mofo Party Plan, bwahaha. but still no luck with Freaky Styley =(

This week's playlist:-

1) The Jam - All Mods Con
2) The Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
3) Him - And Love Said No : 1997 -2004
4) Silverchair - Greatest Hits Vol. I
5) The Verve - Urban Hymns

ooh, for those who don't already know, Smashing Pumpkins' new album will be out 07.07.07.

hmmn, Muzzle is playing right now, one of my favourite songs by The Smashing Pumpkins. it's like Billy Corgan stepped into my shoes and is singing how i feel and who i am as a person, "i fear that i am ordinary, just like everyone."

and i love how the song then unfold to, "my life has been extraordinary, blessed and cursed and won." and "i know that i am meant for this world."

yes, i'm kinda full of myself.

and finally:-

"i'd fall for certain for thinking that i'd last forever, but i knew exactly where i was; and i knew the meaning of it all."

do you think i'm weird?

contented puppy

2007-03-27T21:12:00.000+08:00

sorry for being so 'emo' this afternoon. right after my 'ranting' session, i got a text message from Jing Pei, almost immediately. it's like we have this telepathic thing going on =)

anyhoo, she joined me and the boys at TBR and we yakked for like, three hours.

the boys like her, so i'm glad.

after that, she sent me home and we continued by lepaking in my room.

so i'm currently a contented puppy =)

eh, this is not being needy okay. she is my best friend, you know.

now, all i need to do is set up a meeting with Laurie, my sista-from-anutha-mutha. hee.

please help me escape from my routined life

2007-03-27T11:05:00.000+08:00

am currently in my college library. mum just dropped me off, no one is here yet. i have an hour to kill...

i just managed to piss my mum off again. i'm a little shaken, not really because she's mad at me, but it's kinda because i don't know exactly what was it i said that made her so pissed off in the first place. i obviously said something though, knowing me.

mum, i'm sorry. didn't mean to make you angry.

anyhoo, i don't think i'd be blogging very much, at least not for these couple of months, since i have got assignments that i've got to work on. i'm a little stressed out, just a little, though i try not to think about it or let it get to me. am still trying to maintain my lepak ways, which means that i normally start work after twelve into the wee hours of the morning. but at least i'm progressing =) this time around, i've already started on them even though deadlines are only approaching in another couple of weeks. no more last minute work for me!

thing is, i think i work better last minute. stress is like a motivation. ideas would just fly out of me =)

also, because of my hectic schedule (this semester's only a month and a half long compared to the normal three months, so everything is doubled), i haven't been seeing much of Jing Pei, or Laura. it's been a couple of weeks since i've seen either of them...

everyday, it's the same - i wake up, shower, listen to some music, go to college, lepak at TBR after class, go home, take another shower, watch some TV, work on my assignments, surf the Net for a bit, read a chapter of a storybook, then sleep.
seems alright, but everyday, it's the exact same thing - routined, standard, typical, expected, ordinary, unremarkable. i long for some stimulation - mentally and creatively, but i can't seem to get myself inspired, or find any sort of inspiration from anything else.

wait, does feeling dull, make me a dull person by default?

help me.

enough whining, i'm going to have to save my sardonic, cynical energy to write a sarcastic, satirical piece for this Mass Media & Society assignment where i'd have to live without mass media for an entire day - no music, books, movies, TV, Internet or radio for me, for 24 hours =(
i've got to plan it strategically, so that i won't miss any of the TV series that i'm following. which, really, defeats the whole point of this experiment, but oh well.

Mass Media & Society is quite an enjoyable subject, but Translation really sucks. for the first time ever since i've started college, i dread attending classes. Translation is, such a chore.

am gonna log off now, some buffoon is hovering over me, obviously he wants to use the computer. it's just my luck, there are so many computers here, but it's me he chose to hover upon. but if only he'd ask, instead of hinting, you know? it's not like i'm obliged to give it to him, right? first come first serve.

but right, he's annoying me, and he's kinda snooping. i hope he read the part where i called him a buffoon.

how typical

2007-03-19T22:42:00.000+08:00

gah.

2007-03-14T00:52:00.000+08:00

i really, reaally hate one of my lecturers.

i've always prided myself of being "too lazy to actually hate a person", normally i'd just voice my disdain for whatever it is and get it out of my system (this way, i'd never have to bear a grudge), but this time... gawd!

it's one thing to give us her opinions and views, but to tell us how and what to think?
i'm a very open-minded person, i generally respect everyone's take on life and such. but that doesn't mean that i agree.

yes, it is her right as a lecturer to try to convert me to her viewpoints, i don't have a problem nor would i make a fuss about that; and i'd definitely give it a fair chance, but she sure as hell can't make me agree.

and she's not very much older than me! i'd give her 26... 27, tops. but she prances around as though she's so freakin' experienced and "wise".

before you ask, it is not an argument about something that is written in the textbook, it is not something black and white.

hey, one can argue their point all they want, and i'd listen, but please, i'm sure i'm capable of making my own judgements. rational judgements.

i've always enjoyed all classroom debates with my other lecturers, they are always fun because even if we might disagree with each other, everyone acknowledges that each has their own point in the argument; and since these are all opinions where there are no right or wrong, everybody's happy. and we get a lot out of it, because even if we still think differently, we now know the other party's point of view.

oh, but that, that evil little dictatress, i get so worked up, it makes me type so violently my keyboard's gonna be smashed to bits just thinking about her.

she asked us for our opinions just to shoot us down without giving any of it a thought. opinions in matters that have no right or wrong answers. she shot us down with what i think is supposed to be sarcasm, but it doesn't work very well for her cos somehow it ended up sounding childish. whatever it is that she disagrees with, it's WRONG. but when a majority of the class disagreed with her, she just waved us pass and went, "Just agree!"

most of us were annoyed, but we dropped it. again, she's entitled to think for herself. who am i to complain, if i myself were to make her agree with me?
we even tried joking with her to lighten the tense atmosphere, but she's so rigid and literal she didn't get the jokes at all. we steadily got more frustrated, and i think she didn't like us very much by the end of the day.

God, she's really pushing my limits. there's one thing that i absolutely cannot tolerate, and that is to be told what to think. i will not be subjected to involuntary deprogramming and brainwashing. i can think for myself, thank you very much. my brain is perfectly functional.

after all, we're legitimately regulated to judge which viewpoint is to be suppported, as long as it's rational, and is neither seditious or treacherous. it is also our right to learn in a hostility-free environment. i'm telling you, the casual cheerfulness of her tone seemed as removed from her meaning as the sky is from the earth.

you know what, forget dictatress, she's a bloody tyrant.

where's neil when you need him?

2007-03-10T18:09:00.000+08:00

feeling kinda depressed. laced with a mild discontent, as well as a little restlessness.

i've no idea why.

was gonna curl into bed and reread Stardust for the thousandth time, but i couldn't find it anywhere. Stardust is like, one of my sources of comfort.

i searched high and low, and i was about to scream in exasperation (was also a little panicky that i might've lost it) when i remembered that i've loaned it to Jing Pei.

so then i thought i'd blog for a bit, but now that i'm here, there's nothing that i want to say.

i think i'll just read Good Omens again instead.

this week's playlist:-

since i'm all bummed out for no reason, this week shall be Chili Peppers week.
Red Hot Chili Peppers never failed to cheer me up =)

1) RHCP - Blood Sugar Sex Magik
2) RHCP - Mother's Milk
3) RHCP - One Hot Minute
4) RHCP - Californication
5) RHCP - By the Way
6) RHCP - Stadium Arcadium

P.S. Can anyone tell me where i can find their first three albums?

300

2007-03-08T20:26:00.000+08:00

i've been anticipating this movie since the first time i laid my eyes on the trailer.

so i went and caught it with Ben, Ziwen and Zheng Guan on the very first day it's showing here in Malaysia =)

it's definitely the best movie i've seen this year.
the cinematography was excellent! everything was super cool, and the battle scenes were beautifully chorographed.

the strategem for the Battle of Thermopylae featured in the movie wasn't really historically accurate, but it sure as hell makes it look cooler! and they included the words that the Spartan King Leonidas I, allegedly quoted (according to history books).

i might be biased, because 300 is exactly what i love in a movie; a good plot that doesn't require much thinking (hey, i need a break from all the thinking that i do, okay?), with good actors whom are all visually-pleasing, dialogues oozing with sarcasm, and with 95% of it being scenes in the battlefield slick with blood and dripping with sweat; without it turning into a mindless flick that is all brawns and no brains.

300 Spartans full of valour, even when they knew very well that they were marching to their doom, all with superb strategy in warfare, and fighting for a damn good cause...

...it's my version of a chick flick =P

i wanna to watch it again. who wants to come with me?

the butterfly effect: moi

2007-03-07T19:38:00.000+08:00

today i sabotaged two very good, very successful, international bands by jacking the ranking of my favourite band (also very good and very successful) to the top spot by voting on the same online poll at least 200 times.

i hope it works, and they win. and i hope they won't check the poll statistics =S

currently feeling pleased, but also very guilty.

the magician

2007-03-07T18:30:00.000+08:00

You are The Magician

Skill, wisdom, adaptation. Craft, cunning, depending on dignity.

Eleoquent and charismatic both verbally and in writing,
you are clever, witty, inventive and persuasive.

The Magician is the male power of creation, creation by willpower and desire. In that ancient sense, it is the ability to make things so just by speaking them aloud. Reflecting this is the fact that the Magician is represented by Mercury. He represents the gift of tongues, a smooth talker, a salesman. Also clever with the slight of hand and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil.

What Tarot Card are You?

CDs rule

2007-02-28T08:14:00.000+08:00

nothing beats original CDs, man.

and so i keep telling people, but i think it just goes in one ear and out the other for them.
they're all too interested in their hearing their own voices, going, "You so rich mah..." or "Haiya, you can lah, i cannot..." (which is enough to make me want to smash their faces in) or the one i loathe most, which is a very proud, jock-like (in other words, stupid), fist-pumping exclamation of:-

"DOOOOOWNLOAD~!!!".

first of all, let us get some facts right, my family is not "fucking loaded", nor am i a spoiled child heavily funded with cash. i'm sick of people having that twisted perception that i am.

in fact, i starve most of the time, just to get my CDs. look, i get RM100 a week, 40% of it goes to transportation, another 25% goes to food (this is when i'm half-starved, food is expensive and i can really eat), which leaves me RM35 a week solely for CDs.

clothes, books, etc., well, those my mum buys =P
but CDs, somehow, that's different. she seems to think that i get 10 a week. i'm normally on my own when it comes to CDs.

now, most of my CDs are really hard to find here in Malaysia, so i have them imported, and they cost at least RM70 each. they're usually a lot more than that, but for the sake of easy calculation, we'll say that it is RM70.

that's one CD for me every two weeks. two CDs in a month. only 12 CDs a year!
fortunately, i tend to get more than that, because my mum usually takes pity on me and buys me some of the CDs that i want whenever she goes overseas (thanks mum!). my uncle works in SonyBMG, so i would sometimes be able to bum a CD or two from him. and i ask for CDs as presents from my parents for birthdays and Christmases.

"Aiyo, why go through all the trouble when you can just download for free?"

i'll tell you why. the sound is fucking different, that's why. but i guess it doesn't matter when you listen to fucking Britney Spears. Britney blows and Christina sucks. no pun intended.

actually, pun intended.

the sound quality of CDs still beat MP3s and MP4s flat.
actually, i would buy everything in vinyl if i could, but that's just not practical.

i was actually against iPods and other MP3 players, because:

1) sound quality sucks compared to CDs
2) i'm against illegal downloading, and i believe that it's an evil spawn of MP3s and MP4s
3) nothing beats having liner notes to look at when you're listening to an album!
4) having thousands of songs in one player is just distracting. you listen to a song half-heartedly while you browse through your playlist thinking of the next song you're gonna listen to.
5) you end up not listening to an album as a whole. like, the artists hire album mixers for a reason (and for those of you who say, "but there's only one good song!", then i say that you shouldn't be listening to whoever that loser of a singer/band is in the first place)

but i sort of relented when i got an iPod for Christmas. but everything on my playlist is straight from CDs. non of that illegal downloading shit.

i do download music, but it's for the mere purpose of sifting through the entire album and decide if i should buy it or not. if i don't like it, i'll delete the lot. if i do like it, i'll leave it on my playlist until i get the original, then i'll delete the lot and upload the original. i don't just download the singles and leech off them without paying a single cent.

"That's just stupid, and a waste of time, in my opinion."

well, let's just put it this way, without people like me who buys originals, your favourite artistes will be without a job since no one is doing the actual buying, and there'll be shit for you to download. not to mention that it's stealing!

there are a lot of times where i still abandon my iPod for my Discman. this gets me a lot of "What happened to your iPod?" and "Ketinggalan zaman, yo!" and "For goodness' sake, buy an MP3 player laa...".
Sod off and mind your own business.

okay, enough ranting. it's just that, a particular conversation about illegal downloading with a shit-faced loon today really pissed me off.

this week's playlist:-

it's power pop week!

1) Fountains of Wayne - Welcome Interstate Managers
2) The Jam - The Jam Collection
3) The Byrds - The Very Best of
4) The Thrills - So Much For The City
5) OK Go - Oh No
6) The Romantics - Super Hits
7) Phantom Planet - The Guest

Muse : Live In Kuala Lumpur

2007-02-26T16:34:00.000+08:00

i had a terrible headache post-show, with my ears ringing.
today, my ears are still ringing, my throat still hurts from all the shouting and sing-alongs, my neck is currently sore from all the head-banging, and my feet are killing me.

talk about having a great time.
it was definitely the best gig that i’ve been to thus far.

it was their first gig in Malaysia, Muse : Live in Kuala Lumpur. with Muse being the most anticipated rock act to reach our shores this year, tickets were sold out in record time. with 6 000 people, it was definitely a full house.

Muse has always been in my Top 10 Favourite Bands, and as expected, their performance last night was tight. i was pleasantly surprised that there weren’t any technical difficulties. not any that i know of, at least. initially, i was a little skeptical of the venue since it was at Stadium Negara, where everything is covered and echo-ey instead of the much preferred, open-air Stadium Merdeka. i was half-resigned for some bad acoustics, even though it was Muse we're talking about. hey, i’m not trying to sound snobbish nor am i being prejudice when i say that big gigs in Malaysia + sound system screw ups goes together like peanut butter + jelly. like, i can still remember the fiasco at the Discovery Stage at Rock the World 7 last year.

maybe the sound was good because of the 50-minute delay due to all the crazily long sound checks. but hey, no complains. as long as the sound's wicked, they can take 2 hours checking their equipment for all i care.

that’s saying a lot, since that would mean a good half an hour more than the actual playing.

i was also extremely pleased to find that their setlist consisted mostly of songs from their older albums instead of the latest one. Black Holes and Revelations is a little too radio-friendly, in my opinion. but i might be biased, because Absolution has been my favourite since day one.

so, with no opening acts, with the lightshow undeniably a notch down from the fantastic signature laser lights that normally accompany the band that we've all seen so often on Mtv, with no fancy outfits or showmanship (unless you count the mind-blowing solos and riffs; but that would be an insult, in my opinion, for those ain't fancy showmanship, but pure talent) and very little interaction with the audience (just the basic "Apa Khabar, KL?!" and a weird "Terima Kasih!")... what makes Muse so special?

1 and a 1/2 hours of pure music, that's what.
there wasn't any monkeying around, there was no need.
gimmicks are for losers.

and so they went straight to business, rocking the house down.
multi-layered vocals, compelling piano work, mesmerising guitar riffs, gilaaaa bass plucks, frenzied drumming, and distortion; that's what's important.
and that’s what Muse is about.
they have always carried the reputation of being artistes instead of performers, but the performance was nothing short of delightful. the crowd went into a state of heightened frenzy the very minute the first chord was struck.
yup, we lapped it all up.

The night’s setlist (if I remember correctly) :-

Knights of Cydonia - the band opened with this, and the crowd went wild. it's definitely my favourite single out of the three from the latest album, since it is one of the nearest to their older stuff.

Hysteria - the heat was immediately cranked up a whole notch when Hysteria came on. off the Absolution album, i immediately felt at home. started singing-along. it was great fun!

Supermassive Black Hole - everyone started dancing when this came on. somehow, it sounded groovier when played live. and it can sure as hell make a girl feel sexy!

Butterflies and Hurricanes - all of a sudden it was like, falsetto nation. nothing stopped the crowd from singing along, which could sometimes be a bad thing. the guy in front of me was terribly loud, not to mention his pitching lari like mad.

Assassin - i'm still not very familiar with this song, but it didn't stop me from being blown away by the guitar riffs.

Citizen Erased - as the music got louder and louder, the crowd got wilder. girls started fainting. i wasn't surprised, no one would be if they could see the ones who were doing the fainting. they were all those typical, girly, helpless ones who, by the look of their skinny frames, with chests as flat as airstrips and non-existant asses; seemed so starved and malnourished you'd think that they'd be too poor to feed themselves, let alone purchase a ticket to Muse in the Pitt. being slaves to their bodies, they're an embarassment. and half of them were wearing mini skirts, as though they have a deathwish. obviously concert n00bs, or maybe they just like being groped and fingered. i was secretly pleased to see them dropping like flies.

Hoodoo - another song from the latest album, it's loud, it's intense, and it pushed the envelope of emotions to an all time high before it was toned down to a more subdued note.

Apocalypse Please - i think i was the first person who realised that Apocalypse Please was on, i was definitely the first person to exclaim loudly. it was quite obvious because the crowd was pretty quiet then. hey, i already said that Absolution's my favourite album. people turned around and stared...

Feeling Good - a cover song, available on the Origin of Symmetry; it's definitely better than the more commercial Michael Buble and The Pussycat Dolls versions, and dare i say, better than *gasp* Nina Simone's version too. okay, maybe not. but it was a classy and stylish performance, Matt Bellamy played the piano wonderfully, he dropped the signature falsetto and his voice went husky and sexy. my heart melted when he started singing through a mini loud-speaker. it was so cool!

Sunburn - with Sunburn being the very first song that introduced me to Muse, it brought back a lot of memories. at this point, i was really glad i was there.

Starlight - being the current hit, it was quickly revealed who the bandwagon jumper-ons were. radio-friendly and definitely overplayed, it made those fainting, malnourished girly girls that i've previously mentioned go nuts. they started screaming shrilly, with one hand reached out in the air at Matt Bellamy and the other holding their skirts down. i was distracted, for the shrilly screams were painful.

Plug In Baby - older Muse fans really enjoyed this, many were singing along; while the new ones seemed lost. really, i wanted to lean over to the girl next to me and tell her to go home when she started yelling over the phone to God-knows-who, saying that she was at the Muse concert and replying "Hah? Lagu ape? Entahlah." when her phone-friend asked.

Time Is Running Out - the show peaked here. everyone's hands were in the air, all guards were down, one and all sang along. including the oouoouooouaiyaiyaiyaiyah parts, with eyes shut tight, heh.

Map of the Problematique - a song of epic proportions, definitely my favourite off Black Holes and Revelations. one of the best songs performed that night.

New Born - who could leave out the opening song on the Origin of Symmetry? it was the last song they performed before all lights went off and they left stage.

Soldier's Poem - after chanting "Encore! We want more!" in total darkness for at least 5 minutes (jual mahal betul!), Matt Bellamy came out and sang this slow number. girls started sighing and smiling to themselves, swaying dreamily while batting their eyelashes.

Invincible - like a great appetiser, this stirred the fans up again, making them hungry for more, preparing them for ~

Stockholm Syndrome - cult favourite (and definitely my favourite!) and perhaps the most anticipated song for the night; adrenaline started pumping as everyone jumped up and down and head-banged; shouts of "Hell yeah!", "Awesome!" and " Gooooooo Muse!!!" were heard throughout the stadium. the lights went frantic, bursts of blinding white light were displayed. it was euphoric.

Take A Bow - a very suitable song to end a show with, it left the fans hanging around for quite a while, hoping that the band would come out again. they started heading toward the exits only after the RELA guards came and herded them away like sheep.

Matt Bellamy was awesome and Dom Howard's drumming was mind-blowing, but the person who truly rocked the house down that night was Chris Wolstenholme. he changed his bass after nearly every song, and played infectiously, jam-packed with killer riffs, distortions, overdrives and fuzz. damn, he even played the guitar!

like i said, it was definitely the best gig i've been to so far. i was kinda bummed that they did not play Thoughts of A Dying Atheist and Muscle Museum, but i can see pass that.

guess what i've done

2007-02-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

that's Kelvin. Jing Pei and Jing Yen were both there for moral support.
photo credit: Jing Pei (thanks for filming too)

the perfect suicide note

2007-02-09T23:22:00.000+08:00

i read in Allyssa's blog that my very first "actual" blog dated September 11 2004, reminded her about the stars in the sky.

i went back to read it over. it was in that particular entry that i had really poured out everything i had on my mind. reading it again, i realised something.

in that post, i talked about suicide, about living life, about how nothing you own or achieved that seems important to others matter when you're unhappy, about people not really listening or seeing. and about "the perfect suicide note".

i don't know why it didn't hit me then, but that right there, that very entry, that was my perfect suicide note.
it's... perfect. not in the sense that it's a great piece of literary work, but... well, it just feels right to me.

and that's where the irony kicks in.
because it was so right for me, like i said in it, a perfect note needs to sum me up as the person that i am, and it did (at least, it summed up the person i was then); so much so that after writing it, i don't see any reason why i'd ever want to die before it is my time to go.

and so i had this blinding epiphany that the perfect suicide note would be one that will make you want to live life to the full after you have finished writing it.

call me whack if you like.

i'm happy to say that many things have changed since i wrote that post.
i've gotten over my "angry teenager" phase, i guess.
my mum's home a decent amount now, we're closer than ever, and i can talk to her and to my best friend Jing Pei about anything under the sun, and that makes me very thankful that i have them.
and happy with who i am and what i've achieved so far. maybe a little discontented sometimes, but generally, i am happy.
still as sarcastic as ever, but for that, i'm proud.

it is unfortunate that some things still remain the same though. most people still don't really listen or see things for what they really are.

but i still believe that i'd make a difference.
i still believe that if i fail to do so, that if it is unfortunate enough that i suck in life, at least i'd be able to say that i've tried, at least i'd be able to suck with integrity.

and i still look at the stars every morning.

warning: graphic descriptions ahead (i'll try my best to be vague)

2007-02-07T17:59:00.000+08:00

it's official.

it's a freaking curse.
i don't know why i keep kidding myself.

yup, anyone remotely close to me knows it.
i'm the only one who is always in denial.
and even if i've managed to convince myself, i'd just relapse sooner or later.

see, i always choose the most unfortunate times to fall sick.

but this time, it has gone too far. i've been slaving away for three friggin' months, and for what?

only to fall sick the day before my semester break.

on the last day of my exams, before my last paper (yes, it's ahead of schedule, no doubt it's anticipating its own forthcoming with glee), things started to feel terribly wrong.

i tossed and turned at 2 a.m.
my stomach, especially my upper abdomen, felt... wonky. tried ignoring it, cos i really needed to get some sleep so that i won't be zombie-fied when i sit for my Drama paper.
finally, when i couldn't stand it no more, i made myself open my eyes. with great reluctance, of course.
i thought i was hungry (it sure felt like it), so i went down to get something to eat. all kinds of food looked horrible when i'm sleepy. i forced myself to choke down some water and i ate a banana.

after food, it got worst. it turned from being uncomfortable to painful. a great urge to up-chuck came over me and i ran to the loo and ~ yes, at 3 a.m., up comes dinner (imagine, dinner! i ate at 7 p.m., for goodness' sake, and it's not digested after EIGHT hours).
once i was done puking what seemed to be like, every single morsel of food i had in me as well as my stomach itself, i drank some warm water and tried to go back to sleep.

then i began puking water.
my gag reflex pumped out water until not a single drop of what i drank was left.

i went back to bed at 6 a.m.

come 8 a.m., i had some crackers and water during breakfast, in hopes that i'd nurse my stomach back to erm, it's original state of erm, steely strongness (go on, go ahead and laugh, i know you want to). plus, i was feeling a little dehydrated.

big mistake.

as i was going up the stairs, i felt nauseous again. it got worst with every step up.
realising what was going to happen, i broke into a slight sprint.

but alas, i didn't quite make it.

everything that i just ate, and when i say everything i mean everything, made friends with my bedroom floor the very minute i opened the door. it was a rather big mess because, well, let's just say that if there ever was a projectile-vomiting contest, i'd be grand champion.

i was really lucky that i managed to sit for my final paper after all that.
i reckon that the reason why i managed to stop hurling my guts out was because, hey! no more guts!

anyway, enough of grossing you guys out. i am going to bed. i still feel sick.

good shit!

2007-02-05T01:27:00.000+08:00

this week's playlist:-

1) Frank Zappa - Strictly Commercial: The Best of
2) Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
3) Incubus - Light Grenades
4) Rialto - Rialto

really awesome music releases stress =)

... another one of those self-indulgent memes =)

2007-02-02T18:34:00.000+08:00

I AM : an eighteen year-old under-achiever.
I WANT : to succeed in life doing something that i love.
I WISH : i know what my heart truly desires.
I HATE : not knowing the answers to questions.

I MISS : just hanging out with my friends, without having to worry about assignments and deadlines.
I FEAR : that i'll end up being a contradiction to everything i want to be as a person.
I HEAR : what my heart tells me is right.
I WONDER : if there is more to life.

I REGRET : nothing. the things that did not kill me, only made me stronger.
I AM NOT : the kind of person who will put up with stupid people.
I DANCE : with my Mum to 80's music because it's great fun~!
I SING : along with my favourite bands everyday =)

I CRY : when i'm really, really angry.
I AM NOT ALWAYS : right, and knowing this makes me a better, more humble person.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS : pretty little trinklets.
I WRITE : because i strive to be the next Hunter S. Thompson.

I GET CONFUSED : when someone talks to me the minute i wake up.
I NEED : help with crossing main roads with lots of cars.
I SHOULD : learn how to cross main roads properly.
I START : reading fantasy stories whenever i'm under stress.

I FINISH : (ed) two Burger King Whoppers in a single sitting once, hahaha.
I LOVE : having a good, intelligent conversation.
I REMEMBER : thinking how pretty the sky was, when everyone else was cursing at bad traffic.
I DESIRE : - (i don't know what my heart desires.)

I CAN : excel if i actually put in more effort.
I CAN'T : bear being in the company of fake, materialistic, shallow people.
I HAVE : an obsession with magic. Not the voodoo mumbo-jumbo, but the kind you read about in great stories.
I HAVE NOT : liked any of the recent rock bands. I miss rock when rock was pure, unadulterated rock, with five-minute long guitar solos, and the band gets down and dirty; not the commercialized boyband-ish crap they seem to be playing today.

MIA

2007-01-07T01:54:00.001+08:00

i realise that i've been M.I.A for a while now. but please don't forget me =(

my assignments are killing me. i've been sitting in front of the computer for the past nights; right into the wee hours of the morning. and i've been typing and typing away, with my eyes burning from lack of sleep. i've been worrying about the designs, the layouts, the contents of the stupid magazine and the stupid newspaper that i've been working on. alone. my only comfort was my music.

whatever extra time i have, i chose to spend it sleeping, due to exhaustion.

i've been totally cut off from my friends.

i no longer have a life.

i'm so miserable i want to die.

friends ask me out, but i had to turn them all down. reeeeallly reluctantly.

i don't care, i'm going to Zouk next week to see Butterfingers, OAG and Republic of Brickfields. anyone wanna come with me?

merry christmas!

2006-12-23T10:51:00.000+08:00

am gonna be off christmas shopping in a bit =)
i haven't started... *shudders*
quick update~

current playlist:-

Pete Teo - Rustic Living For Urbanites
Pete Teo - Television
Lo - Days Without Dawn
Lo - The Fall
Nakedbreed - Nakedbreed
nicestupidplayground - "My life is my parents' biggest television."
OAG - Permysuri: The Best of
The Times - Soda Pop Rok n Roll
Langsuyr - Asyik
Various Artists - A musiccanteen christmas

yup, it's all local this week... proximity, baby~!

cheers, have an awesome christmas!

rock the world 7

2006-12-21T17:03:00.000+08:00

Rachel's back =P

my streamyx service has been down for nearly a week =(
now it's finally back on, *phew* here's a new entry.
yay, i'm online again!

was at Rock the World 7 last Saturday, 3 stages with 50 awesome artists!

bands/singers i went to catch (and managed):-

1) Pop Shuvit
2) Lo
3) Brainhead
4) Republic of Brickfields
5) Reza Salleh
6) Love Me Butch
7) The Times
8) Infectious Maggots
9) One Buck Short
10) Dragon Red
11) Koffin Kanser
12) Prana
13) Pete Teo
14) OAG

bands/singers that i wanted to catch (but missed):-

1) Tempered Mental
2) Broken Scar
3) Couple

bands/singers that i didn't plan to catch (but caught):-

1) Jerome Kugan
2) Curtis Blues Review

Tempered Mental - i missed this! was stuck in an awful, awful jam =( i was looking forward to seeing them, for i fell in love with Tempered Mental ever since i heard Melina's cover of Stone Temple Pilots' Interstate Love Song... sigh.

Jerome Kugan - caught a glimpse of his performance at the Discovery Stage as i walked into the stadium. i wanted to stay so that i can compliment him on his writing (especially that awesomely sarcastic review he wrote for Kakiseni about The 3rd Generation), but i don't really like his music. he kinda sounded like Moby.

Pop Shuvit - the "official" start to my head-banging and moshing for the rest of the day. their samplings were good, but i'm not really crazy over Pop Shuvit, they are an okay band. although i loved Skaters' Anthem when it first came out years ago =)

Lo - i had an awesome time moshing in the pit to Jason Lo! i got punched in the face, i flew and landed on my ass. adrenaline-a-pumping, i didn't feel a thing until the next day (boy, was i sore). people in the moshpit went nuts when Lo performed Old Newspaper, a crowd favourite (obviously); but i personally think that Sleepy Head was the better song to mosh to. anyways, many thanks to Jason Lo for giving us Rock the World, it's something to look forward to every year~!

Republic of Brickfields - i'm proud to say that i grew up in Brickfields! as i was swaying to the groove, taking in the heavy dosage of reggae and ska, with the everyone else skanking away left right and center; i went into an all natural high. it was bliss.

Brainhead - they had some major technical difficulties (mic takde bunyi), which the sound people took forever to fix. It's my first time watching them perform, and i like them =)

Reza Salleh - his performance was delayed (see Brainhead), but boy, the music was good! And I squealed when I saw Melina! Caught her in action after all, even though i missed Tempered Mental (I saw her again, playing for Dragon Red. She's such a band slut, heh =P) I think Reza Salleh's cute. Like a teddy bear.

Broken Scar - missed Broken Scar as their gig was delayed as well, i opted for Love Me Butch instead. it's a shame, i hate having to choose when both bands are good.

Love Me Butch - hardcore's my favourite genre, but i got sidetracked during the gig as this crazy guy went into a frenzy, he did this gilaaa dance and his afro bobbed along, it was comical. i have a very high suspicion that he was high on something. something that is not music. most of the people surrounding him watched him in amusement instead of the band. but the gig was nothing short of terrific! it was a little scary though, i was shoved to the front during moshing, and most of us in front were slammed against the barricade right next to the speakers and it broke; apparently a Sabahan dude insulted a Peninsula guy. i was lucky i didn't bust an eardrum, my right ear got plastered against the gigantic speakers when that happened.

The Times - i love The Times and i had tremendous fun singing along to their songs! Naza started the show by dissing Indon bands, he even named names. later on in the middle of the gig, he basically dissed every other band available by saying The Times is the only band who sings fully in Malay. a guy who was next to me yelled, "but duuuuuude! you guys are, like, Britpop!". i laughed myself silly. They played the lastest single Kasanova and of course, Mawar Liar.

Infectious Maggots - seriously, i like them more than Koffin Kanser and Dragon Red put together. plus they have reaaally badass hair it's scary. i head-banged like never before. a few dudes looked at me swinging my hair round and round and went, "woah." =P

New found head-banging friend, Ajoi.

One Buck Short - i saw them from afar. was tired out from Infectious Maggots, so i sat behind, watching them on the screen. Mooky was funny and the performance was energetic, but they are a little too whee, prozac~!! for my taste, though i liked the song Rakyat Kedepan... but i was traumatised when he flashed us his belly.

Dragon Red - i had to haul my ass off the ground to walk over to the Indie Stage for them, but it was worth it. i stayed at the back though. the moshers were really, really, really violent. my first thought was how cool Melina looked. i was strangely attracted...

Koffin Kanser - fuuiyo, it was massive. the crowd, the performance, everything; HUGE. the best word to describe this:- dahsyat! at least 4/5 of the people flocked over to the Mainstage to hear them play. but since i lingered to watch a little bit of Prana (poor Prana had very little crowd, time problem) it was impossible to get anywhere near the front. so i was very far back =( also, i left before they ended in fear that i'd miss Pete Teo.

Curtis Blues Review - heard them play while waiting for Pete Teo. they played a rendition of AC/DC's Highway to Hell which was, in my humble opinion, horrid.

Pete Teo - aaah! i'm sooo in love with him! i had been looking forward to his performance the entire day... sang along to every single song, word for word, including Arms of Marianne and of course, Jesselton Tonight. there was some technical difficulties again (the sound at the Discovery Stage was fucked up for the entire event), so he was rather frustrated. also, The A.C.A.B was playing at the Mainstage and they were so loud they bleeded into the Discovery Tent. Pete couldn't hear himself at all, so he made us sing along. it made the entire thing rather intimate. after his performance, i got backstage to meet him! i ran straight into him as i went head first into the tent. he greeted me with a smile and gave me a sweaty bear hug. i talked to him for a bit and we took a couple of pictures together. it was awesome~!! i had to stop myself from squealing while i was in his presence (luckily, i managed to keep my cool). yes, i like older men.

OAG - i love watching Radhi on stage, his quirky moves kinda reminds me of Anthony Kiedis. adalah, little bit. OAG's set list for the night was Sabtuday, 60's TV, Slumber and Generasiku; all of which i know by heart. it was tight, my only complain is that they have been playing 60's TV at Rock the World for a few years now. i took a photo with Radhi too =)

and thus ends my account on Rock the World 7. see you there next year~!

ps. sorry for the lack of pictures. i've got a ton, but most of them are blurry, so i'm not gonna subject you guys to them. my camera very noob (the camera, not me, please read properly). i need a new one~!

lazy entry

2006-12-13T19:17:00.000+08:00

sorry for the lack of updates, assignments and exams galore =(

see, it works like this:-

i won't study at all cos i'm... (insert word here).

hence, i'd feel stress, as not studying means that i'll just have to bambu my way through the exams.

so, what do i do?

i sleep on it.

literally.

like, i'll go into hibernation mode and not do anything at all.
i won't go out, i won't blog, i won't yadda yadda yadda and...
i won't study.

it's this system that i've developed throughout the years of my education.
and it had always worked out well, so...

okay, i can see you shaking your head, you @#$%^&*~!!!
(heh, just kidding)

anyways, there you go, that's the reason why i don't blog during exam season.

i was rather annoyed with myself today because i can't find my Pixies (Surfer Rosa) CD.
serves me right for leaving it around.
maybe Chester took it... shit.

i can't wait for this Saturday!
Rock the World, baby~!!!
who else is going?

adoi~! kesian aku....

2006-12-05T17:22:00.000+08:00

ish, geram betul aku hari ni...

smalam aku sabar je buat assignment Mass Media Law sampai pukul empat pagi, sebab kene hantar hari ni... korang semue tahu lah perangai aku ni, kan? suke sangat buat kerje last minute...

jadi, hari ni aku kelihatan macam pontianak ah kan, muke pucat, rambut berkusut-masai, 'pas tu pemakaian pun t-shirt longgar 'ngan jeans aje... terlalu mengantuk lah nak pakai cantik-cantik... secara ringkas, buruk rupenye~!

nasib tidak menyebelahi ku, tiba-tiba pulak aku ternampak si hensem tampan keluar dari kelasnye... AHHH!! aku cuba nak menyorok tapi malangnye aku di tengah-tengah koridor pada masa tu.... =(

si hensem ternampak aku jugak, lalu dia melambaikan tangannye... aku pun melambai balik lah, tapi di dalam aku terasa macam nak memintal di atas lantai dan mati! huu huu huu, malu... =_="

memang nasib aku lah, bila muke cantik baju cantik takde lah nak tersempak 'ngan dia plak!!!! skarang aku nak menangis ni...

pengajarannye? jangan buat assignment last minute~!

(so i came home and i ruthlessly deleted people off my Friendster's Friends List. i felt better after that. yes, i'm evil that way. i tend to hand-pick my testimonials too... bwahahahahahahahahaha)